Lonely nites....

2nd post for today.... haiz... surprise surprise.... Gi call me again... thi ger hor.. always like to give me surprise... good thing my heart still can take it.... or else I dunno die how many times le... SHE is BACK in Sg.... so we gotta meet up with clare, dennis and yiling all together.... it will be great seeing her again.. guess she will put on more weight... oops...

Went to play soccer after work... too much vent up feelings... so gotta let it out... felt much better after soccer.... was like a madman... until I cooled myself.... reach home, help dad settle his computer... then i had my lunch cum dinner... haha... leftover food lor....

Now, I got no work to do, nuthin to do... I feel so lost, so empty... I feel so alone. No one is around.... I indeed all alone... I hate this feeling... I dun wan to be the me in secondary sch.... I'm past that stage... haiz... sometimes, I just wish that I can turn back time and redeem myself from all those mistakes that I made... haiz... can't write much inspiration shit.... so better stop b4 I turn this blog of mine into a negative one... haiz..

Quote: "If a man begins with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties"

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

Terrible me

After work yesterday, went to Suntec to have the ma la huo guo and then proceeded to ZOUK. been a long long time since I last went there. Reach there damm early as we were goin with colleagues ard 10 plus of them. We we the first in zouk and got 2 tables at the golden spot. hehe.. After that pple started coming in. Went to phuture with Sarah who came down to meet Clare and his aussie friends. After that, it was time to go back Zouk. Xuanie came oso. She was on the main platform. Her retro moves amaze me... haha.. was nice watching her dance.

Basically, last nite was the first time I dress up so much for a cheong session. Coz just felt like goin there to do some test marketing. Then when I was in the toliet, there was this guy toking to me, saying that my jacket was nice and where I bought it and so on. After that, I was washing my face then he like came to pat my back to ask if I'm okie... Mmm... dunno why he did that but I scooted off... in case he was gay... coz i'm NOT a gay... hehe...

Zouk was packed as usual and Mambo was still good although the music is not that fantastic but the atmosphere was great and reminded me of the good old times... hehe...

Did a bit of wrong things last nite. Haiz... this is why my blog title is "Terrible Me" haiz... but not much damage done I hope... haiz... I must not be like this... I'm over this kind of life le... I must not go back... I grow up le... hehe...

Anyway, this is the time where I must fight for my future happiness. Being alone might not be a bad idea but it's not a balanced life.... so I shall wait and see.... wait.... how long... erm... dunno oso... haiz... sure there's a plan for me on this earth or else there will no longer be a value in my existence... haiz... Damm shagged now... coz left Zouk ard 2.30am... long time no club le... yesterday go coz My Boss bdae... so that's about all for now. Time to go back work.... A part of me is still missing... I must keep myself occupied and turn my negative side into strength... Yes... I must do that.. I can do that... juz simply I'm JasunZ.....

Quote: "The greatest challenge in our life is to find someone who knows your flaws and differences and yet still willingly embraces you with so much love"

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

This is Life.......

Laziness to post blog is a sin. How things had changed since my last post on Sunday. This is life... this is indeed life... things just change so f**king fast huh.

Monday
Working as normal but Aaron didn't come as he got 2nd degree burns due to our outing at sentosa on saturday. At nite, Dennis and Clare drove over ard midnite to "tok". In the end all ended well and we went to have our dim sum... As usual, clare was still as tok cock as usual. But I like my quote of the nite. We were discussing about playing and Playboys and some of our friends. I suddenly came up with this great pharse for him.

"Clare... People are play boys... but, you are played boy" hahaha... now I recall, still bring a smile to my face. Thanks clare for being victimised... hehe...

Tuesday
After work, went to watch Initial D with Aaron and Ben. Was a great show. After that took a train home. Slp.

Wednesday
Today is a kind of sad day for me and a special one as well. I cried for the first time in 3 years. So many things happen today.

Was working when suddenly hp ring, Giselia called me from US. Just to chat a bit and catch up. After that, Armii msg me on msn.... then... haiz.... watever.... then I went to Paragon and mood not veri good... so bought myself a jacket. Nice... I love it... shall wear it to Zouk tonite... haha...

After today, I came out with my personal 10 Commandments on Girls... if any gers out that doesn't agree... erm... THAT'S JUST TOO BAD... coz I dun give a damm about gers anymore... but I do welcome lesbians and butches... coz when you get one, you get both.... wahahaha...

The Ten Commandments (for gers or women or anything that looks or behaves like them)

1) Thou shall not trust a female in whatever she says. (she herself might have no idea wat she is saying)

2) Thou shall not invest you Love totally in one female. (Don't anyhow invest. Split up the resources so that in case one fail, still got others mah)

3) Thou shall share your Love with more than one female. (Don't be selfish... SHARE)

4) Thou shall flirt with lots of female as and when possible. (Have bigger pool of female, got more chance of striking mah)

5) Thou shall go for all status of girls. (Be it attached or not. Attached still can break mah... married oso can divorce)

6) Thou shall go for rich females. (Got more money, can do more things and most importantly, spend on ME!!!)

7) Thou shall go after any females. (Ugly can modify and become pretty, pretty can be even prettier, all race also can. Multi racial harmony leh)

8) Thou shall go for clever or stupid females. (For those stupid, easy lar, most females are. Even those smarter ones, won't be as smart as me mah)

9) Thou shall pretend to be gay sometimes. (Normal females are friends with normal guys. Very Chio females are f**king close to Gays!!! Gayism RuleZ!!)

10) Thou shall lie to all females and never stay true to any. (Mother cannot lie... the rest can. So incase they ask me about this 10 commandments, I can say I copy one from else where one, not I come out with it one... must have backup....)

I, Jason Leng, S8238469C, hereby swear that I will live by this 10 commandments from now on till I get killed by one of the angry females out there.

Quote: "God is also Man. God is God just because He had done things that Man cannot do"

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

A Glimmer Of Hope After 9 Years

Today is 26 of June 2005, it's my sister's birthday... she is 15 this year... finally decided to write... this has got nothing to do with my sister's bdae.

Thursday
I really forgot what I did on this day... okie... now I remember... I went to play soccer with Aaron's friend..... then stayed over at his house...

Friday
DENNIS IS BACK!!!! But we didn't meet up.....
After work, went out with Aaron and Qwek to hav dinner at Paulander @ Millienia Walk... after that was there chilling out at the pub... the live band was great but they took pretty long breaks... the band there is definately better than the one at balacarva... Xuanie came down to meet me... and after that, "dong bang" her to serangoon as she wanted to play mahjong...

Saturday
Woke up early in the morning ard 8am. Not working but want to fully use the day. Jioed Dennis the nite b4, but guess he is tired... so he not coming... in the end, nvm... me and Aaron went... we started playing the Super Ring. We weren't throwing very far but it already attracted the attention of a few people who play as well. After throwing for a while, we got tired and took a break... Decided to go play again... but this time, our accuracy dropped alot and the Super Ring kept bending..... was kind of fustrating... decided to take a break chill... went to but the $2.20 per bottle Sprite ICE... damm nice... After that, I tann for about an hour... Aaron wanted to leave... but we decided in the end to end the day on the high note by trying to throw the Super Ring accurately again.... WOW..... we suddenly became damm good.... for the next 1 hour, we had a great deal of fun.... we extended our distance to over 1.5 basketball length... and we could still hit the target.... and many times, we just stood there and waited for the Super ring to reach us... wahahahaha... alot of people were watching... hehe... *proud....

After that, we washed up ard 5 plus and went to Orchard to have dinner... we ate Sakae Sushi and had our fill and ended up bumping into Jane and Chun there... hahaha... small world.... we walked around a bit more and went to Tiong Bahru Plaza to catch a movie with Qwek as we goin over to Simon's home at nite to "Taunt" We decided on "Alot Like Love" it's a good show... romantic, but not realistic.... haiz... if onli life was like dat... anyway, the movie did inspire me to face my feelings and not hide it... if u hide ur feelings, onli God will know.... and no one else.... so people out there, do not be shy... u rather try and fail than fail to try.... and so I decided....

After the movie, Simon came over to fetch us and we went to his new house... we had lots of drinks and test out movies on his sound system.

Sunday
Help out Simon in his house, fixing things here and there... indeed, it's no mean feat settling up a home... haiz....

For you
I can only pray that one day, you will change your mind. I don't know when, I don't know how. But all my promises to you are true. I will try till I die. When I saw your tears, it pained my heart. I didn't know what to say but I only wanted to hold you tight in my arms and I did. I did not know where the courage came from, to speak those things to you but I am glad I did. I had nearly given up hope or rather lost hope, but I'm just unable to get you out. I tried to forget you but I fail time and time again. I promise that I will try my best to make you the most contented and happie ger around. I will once again allow myself to commit in Love and I hope this Love don't hurts. Ger, I love you, I realli do.....

Quote: "I rather try and fail than fail to try" -- JasunZ

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

Jus another day

Today work was busy and running ard... left office ard 8 plus and went to Suntec NUS clubhouse for a drink and chat till 11. Took a taxi back... now shag so nothing much to write. Why? Look at the pic below... is there to write? expect that the light still seems so far away... haiz...



Quote: "Never pretend to love a love that you do not actually feel because love is not ours to command"

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

Awakening

*This is my current world. It's dark gloomy and the light seems ever so far away and it's getting dimmer day after day.....

Just came back from the airport. Went there to walk around and try get some new thoughts. I always had this "fetish" for airport. It's such a interesting place. Be it for pple goin there to meet or send pple or for those goin off in the plane or arriving. There's 2 different kind of feelings in the air at the airport and it's so amazing to take a walk there and soak it all up.

At the arrival hall, you can see the relief faces of those pple coming back and when their loved ones see them, they are full of smiles and happiness. For those tourists coming, some for their holidays, others for their work. They oso have their own set of feelings.

Departure hall is a sortof more gloomy place. It's a place where I myself had quite a few memories. It's always sad to send your loved ones off and knowing that they are goin some where far yet not knowing if you will see them again. The kind of sad feelings are even worse. I was at the airport on Christmas last year to send someone off. While walking around, I saw pple sleeping at the benches, couples walking slowly. The emptiness of the terminal together with the soft carols in the background struck a spot in me. I hated that feelings. But then, at the departure hall, is also the place where you can see families happily goin off for holidays etc...

Been through much thinking today. Today is 20th June 2005. It's the third time in 9 years. I will remember this day. I allowed myself to be pushed down and I have onli myself to blame and no one else.... it's just like this song....

"I tried so hard and got so far.... and in the end... it doesn't even matters.... i had to fall to lose it all.... and in the end, it doesn't even matters...."

This song describes my feelings now. I used to motive those around me and myself using this quote which I put on my blog everyday. I thought this was the perfect quote. I'm wrong. This quote can either bring a person up to a higher level or throw him down to the deepest hell. I'm the latter case. I had believed too much in this quote that I gave my all, plan my life, open myself and in the end, now I'm thrown away. I lost direction in life... I'm like a ship without a rudder.... I lost my strength of focus.... my confidence.... my goals that I planned..... and the worst is, I'm losing hope..... I dun wan to lose hope..... if that ever happens, I will never be able to climb up again. Onli one person knows wat I'm talking about now. But I do not blame that person. I made this quote my religion and lived by it. But now that I had overdone it, I have only myself to blame. I came to realise now that many things in life can be achieved through hardwork and perssistence.... but actually somethings that are realli impossible, will stay that way no matter how hard you try.... Isn't 9 years long enough???? I dun understand.... I hate to use this, but I FUCKING dont undrstand.... Now, I'm lost.... I'm losing myself.... I live no longer for weekends to go out together.... or weekdays to call or sms..... it's enough... it's clear.... don't be stupid Jason..... somethings aren't meant to be no matter how hard you try... u had finally been given the slap in the face.... and proven wrong... veri wrong... all ur beliefs and shattered and so is your life... you are now no different as the person 9 years ago... the confidence that you built up over the years are now gone in a flash, in a few keys on the key boards and a click of a mouse..... it's over.....

I shall now live my day, day after day and see what God and life has in store for me.... Life is such an amazing thing. Something that you want alot might not come to you no matter how hard you try but one fine day when you least expect it, it just appears.... Perhaps this is just a fool's hope... but I rather be a fool than to not have any hope at all.... I'm tired....sick and the anger which was once control by love is now emerging again... and nothing can stop it.... It has begun...

Enough... I'm tired... I shall wake up tomolo a new person... I muz protect myself.... I must...

Quote: : "Live your life well and be happy, that's all I ask of you" -- JasunZ

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

A tale of Old Shoes

Sometimes life is just like a pair of old shoes. You enter the world new, fresh and pple find you nice in all aspects. As the time goes by, you start to wear off but you become more useful and comfortable to the owner. Finally, one fine day, you wear off till the stage where you can no longer serve the owner. This is the time where the owner misses this pair of shoes as it had been with him for a long time and serve him well. But nevertheless, he will still throw it away and to be forgotten. This hopefully is just a story about a pair of shoes and not life itself. Just something to ponder about as I'm goin to throw away my old shoes today.


Front view


Under View

This pair of shoes had been around with me for 5 years. It's time.

Just now discovered a fish in my toliet bowl. My dad actually threw this sick fish in the toliet bowl and see if anyone is shocked by it... -_____-"'


*Poor fish....

This will be the first part of my blog... below is the new theme for my life..... I designed it myself....



to be continued after I come back from airport.....

A Shag weekend

got to make this a fast post... got to wake up at 6am tml... coz got press conference... haiz... anyway...

Today went to church and after that went to meet aaron, bob and suz to go sentosa... been a long long time and boy how things had change.. miss sentosa for nearly 5 mths since my evil bros left for aussie... enjoyed myself although it was definately much better with the other 2 bros who r in aussie now. When reach sentosa, met zengbin, ah kiat, michelle, wanjun and liting... so qiao.. so ended up we all group up and play... left the island at 6pm... damm alot of pple...think coz of hols bah... last timenot so many pple... renewed my islander card oso.... after that we went to Sean Inn hawker for dinner and went home... took 963 direct back... abot 1 hr odd... slept all the way.. damm shag... too long never go liaoz... but it's good build up as dennis and clare is cumming back... yeah... okie... shall go rest for now...

today's quote is something I saw on the badge on the back of someone's bag on the bus...

Quote: "People who are punctual got nothing better to do"

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

A lazy day...

woke up today at 12 pm... coz company call... haiz.... but no choice... I important mah... hahaha... then after that had lunch and then went to meet aarona nd ben at WCRC for our usualy billard session... after that went to taman jurong shopping centre to have the super nice "yu pian" soup... realli nice... then we bought some agar agar.... haha... like little kids.... after that ben sent me home... then starteed watching some shows and tv...

went to buy 2 piece of dim sum juz now to eat... now feel sinful... coz eat supper... tml morning shall wakeup at 7am to go for a run.... keep fit... haha.... so tml shall be a happie day... I will go sentosa in the afternoon... yeap!!... nothing much interesting to write today.... shall end soon... getting tired.... sleep time... cheers...

Quote: "We become whatever we are commited to"

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

Behold... The weekend

Today is a day full of ups and downs.... after blogging in office...I started my war...

Colleague called me and asked if I could come back tomorrow and help out although its my off day. But I started to plan to finish everything needed to be done tomorrow.... I started rushing people and bugging them to produce the things I needed for the press conference on monday...

After that, things came to a halt for about 3 hours as the person to approve the thing for printing was not around.... haiz... looks bleak and I started thinking that I might have to come back office after all... but no way was I goin to give up... I pushed on and finally, I stayed till 9.30pm then left office... finished the things I needed..... haha... great,.... somemore, boss still treat us pizza... hehe....

Bob came to meet us and we went to his house, got the car and then went to chong pang to have the famous nasi lemak... after that went to yishun GV to catch a movie... Batman Begins... damm good show.... finished the show at 2.30am... was 2 hours long but it's really good....

Btw, realised that Ah keat, shufen and armii was at yishun dam... wah... so happening... dunno where to go... so go there... haiz... no jio me... booooooo..... anyway... glad she's home safe... damm worried when she drive... coz she is super "safe" and driving skills are "great"... haha...hope she doesn't read this... guess i will be hoping down to sentosa this sunday .... hehe... long long time... goin to renew my membership... hehe... I'm an Islander.... haha....

Okie... time to hit the sack.... nites....

Quote: "Why do we fall? So that we might better learn to pick ourselves up"

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

Let's blog

I said to myself... come on... take a break... lets blog... so here I am...

Now actually in office. The past 2 days was hell.... damm super busy... but yesterday managed to take a break.... I was even working on the way back home on the train, I found a seat, sat down and started to us my laptop to finish up some presentations. haiz...

After reaching home, spent 5 more mins finishing up my work then Bob came to pick me and aaron and we went down to Holland V to chill as it was bob's bdae... after some drinks and wedges, we left..... This morning have to reach office earlier as there were some STB big shots coming and we had to be around and help out. haiz... wats new... been hunted by many different people till now... asking me for this and that... wonder wat will happen when i go for my holidays... dun care.. they hav to learn to live without me.... later they all start singing.... "How do I live without you.... I wan to know...." hahaha... dreaming... i not that important... hehe...

Felt down coz of work... so I played some inspirations videos to watch and decided to take a break... haven't taken lunch yet... so think goin to da bao liaoz... haiz... boring... but wats new... kk... think thats all for now... gotta go feed myself.... buaiz...

Quote: "There would be no triumph of folly if there would be no submissive fools"

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

Life goes on....

Life goes on.... I drank quite a bit last nite in order to make myself sleep. Then Jiayin called me on my mobile while I was almost gone. Didn't realli know what she said or wat I said... but slept through the night. Good thing moning wake up, no hangover or headache. hehe...

So been busying in the office throughout the day. But I knew I wasn't realli focusing. I allowed my thoughts to drift away and I went into deep thinking again. Haiz... Weakness... I'm weak... i can't control my mind... gotta do it man.... or else later muz got Insitute of Mental Health... aiya... basically is woodbridge lar.... Came home early.. reach home b4 8pm... *beams.... then help dad with his hp problem... coz dunno y his pocket pc hp reset everything.,.. so help him... after that watched "eye for a guy 2" never watch b4 b ut since it was the season finale... plus I was in the sibei bored and pek chek mood... i watch lor... who knows... after watch liao lagi pek chek... see lar the howard guy so nice still dun wan... see hor... gers are always like dat... got a nice guy treat them well, they wan to take risk go try other.... wan to take risk so much, go genting lar.. haiz...

Life is so unpreditable... yesterday Max's dad got stroke, today Simon's Father in law passed away... wah lau... in 2 days, tradegy hits my office.... dunno wat will life bring about tml? No one ever knows which is why I decided to say things out to her. I dun wan regrets... I dun wan to live with the huantings that I never even said that.... I did it...

Okie... tml will be a busy day... I'm goin to do alot of important things and clear them... they are listed below:

1) Clicking on the send/receive button on my outlook express at least 1000 times
2) Goin for my 2 teabreak.
3) Extra long lunch.
4) Chatting with my colleagues
5) SHK Sessions
6) Chatting on MSN
7) Playing friendster
8) Looking at my hair in the mirror
9) Reply some less important emails
10) Think of what to do during weekend


Hahaha... just joking.... Cheers!!!

Quote: "While it is wise to learn from experience, it is wiser to learn from the experience of others."

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

My Past is what you see in the Present ME!!!

June 14, 2005....

This is the day when I admit defeat to my past. Where I lose to the huanting of my childhood and all the years of negative thinkings. The hatred for life had been building up in me everyday and it's starting to show now. I had tried to surpress it for a long long time but guess it won't be long before it develops completely. I had been saidto be a nice guy, good son etc all these years by those who knows me but I knew it all the while that those comments where nothing but a pack of lies in my own eyes. I'm the only person who knows my real self and no one else does except God Himself. I feel sorry for myself. Indeed, I feel sorry that someone who can speak and change others for the better, can't even save himself now.... or rather he's too tired to try already. His motto: "Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer" was something that kept him going for a while. Now that things had came to this stage, it's too late. My mind is in a state of mental unstablilty and turmoil. I can no longer control my own feelings and thought. I had closed myself to the world around me and developed a layer of self-protection in order not to allow anyone to hurt me again. I hurt deeply all these years. Now, I can no longer move on without changing my mentality towards life. My mind was the only engine that kept me going all these years. I lived not due to my heart but my mind. I have to change my thinking towards life so that it can continue to keep me goin. Coz' I totally disappointed in life, I can't see anything except further pain and anguish that awaits me to punish me for crimes I did not commit. It's a torture. I won't be able to go through it alone and there is no one else there for me.

I had been thinking about writting this entry for a long long time but held myself back. Coz' once it's written, it shall be done. I'm sorry to disappoint all those around me who actually cared about me before. But all of you didn't know the real me. My darkess secrets and my sad past. I hate my past. I still shudder whenever I recall them. The new me will be what my past had made me. It's been a long time since the past and present me met and now that I'm goin to unleash the past, the present me will be gone. I'm feel sorry towards my good and close friends for they be-friended someone which was not real. I wasn't lying, I just tried to be a better person and live a better life. But alas, my past had caught up with me and I can no longer be the same self that people knew.

Quote: "Accept Life the way it is, do not try to change it, the harder you try, the harder you will fall. Accept fate, Life is unfair" -- JasunZ, Without Wax

~My Past Is What You See In The Present Me~
JasunZ, Without Wax

A long good weekend

Saturday...

Slept till 12pm and woke up, saw my clock was 12pm, so decided to take 15 mins more. Next thing I know, my dad told me that it was 3pm and lunch was waiting for me... oops... after that went to cut my hair short and dyed it ash color... after that, went down cck to pick armii and we went selegie for some prata before goin down Marina Square to meet the rest.


Taken on the way there in the car

Took a long time to find the food court on level 4... when we found them, we just sat for a while then jialing, michelle and her bf had to go home. So the rest of use went Esplanade to tok cock. Bought some drinks and popcorn. took some pics oso.


Wanjun biao mei & Armii


Armii posing.... hehe


Zengbin, Ah Kiat, Wanjun, Armii & Me.....

After that, all of them came to the seaside behind my house to chill and chat... I went home to get some drinks and went back. we chatted and joked around till 2am plus then zengbin sent Armii and wanjun home as they lived nearby....

Sunday...
Went to church in the morning... after that, went home to changed clothes... coz we had a chalet at Aloha Resorts. Called Armii and actually woke her up... it was 1.45pm. toldher i goin chalet and ask her wanna come along or not. Then ask her fast change and I come pick her. Went up her house to help her bring the 2 pairs ofroller blades. Reached there ard 3 pm, Dad went to check in and then after settling down, we went to buy Ice and she had her lunch. After that we went blading. was damm funnie coz both of us not veri good at it and after balding for 30mins, we decided to go cycling instead. We cycled till the end of Pasir Ris park then we rested and took some pics....


Trying to look like the "Sunshine" ger


Forced me to pose. -_-"'


"Qing Lu" pic... haha... we not qing lu lar... juz pretending...


Asked me to take a pics of the birds... said those were birds from Pasir Ris... so muz take... end up, used my recce skills to creep up and take pics...

Then there was this kid who had some problem with her bicycle and Armii asked me go over and repair... good thing I last time kampong kid, so know a bit... then i help kiddo, she oso take pics... still asked me pose... -_-"'


Do I look like a loving daddy?? haha


Jason kenna spotlight look

After that chated a while more and plucked som flowers... here they are...


side view of the latest and hottest summer fashion...


say cheeze.....hehe... sweet rite...

After that went back and started the BBQ... ate a bit onli but that Armii ate quite a bit of food... after that we played captain's ball with the teens and Armii first got tripped by one of them... I went over to "show" some concern...then she faster pass the ball and let her team score... -_-"' kenna tricked... After that, she got her retribution... I did a one-two passing with my team mate and next time I knew, I collided with someone and when i look down, I saw Armii lying on the ground... Ooops.... she played till damm fierce... trying to tackle me down... haiz... faster help her up... good thing she okie and not hurt.... juz covered with grass.... we played some mroe volleyball and basketball... was damm tired... Sent my dad home first and then we went to the nearby coffershop to have supper... some dimsum... not bad... then I sent her home... we were both so smelly and sweaty....

All in all, I spent a very enriching weekend, catching up with old friends and relaxing without spending alot of money... hehe.... great..... okie... so tml will be a new day with new hopes with new outlook in life. I shall begin this week with a bang and be even more motivated to fight for my own future, own happiness.... as I always said b4 to my trainees...

1) You can't lead what you cannot respect.
2) You can't love what you cannot protect.

I shall live by this... work for what I want.... I will never give up.... I know I might lose everything in this world but there is one thing that will always be in me and I will never lose it and that is HOPE....

Quote: "We discover our role in life through our relationships with others"

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer"
JasunZ, Without Wax

Lazy Boy

hehe... such a long long over due post..... let start...

Tuesday
Basically, work till 8pm in office and after went back straight home... was so damm tired and had nothin much to update... so decided not to...

Wednesday
This day was more interesting... after work at 8pm, went to Cineleisure Kbox with my colleagues for KTV session... say somany different songs... chinese, oldies, retro and even hokkien... haha... after that went back home and hit the sack... was actually lazy to blog... hehe

Thursday
After work at7pm, was suppose to go crystal jade for dinner with "Fruit Tree" coz he came back from Dubai and bought "Monte Cristo" cigars for us... was suppose to go Barlacarva oso... but in the end went Lot 1 to join my sec sch friends for another KTV session at K box... had a great time enjoying ourselves and crapping... hehe.... Here are some of the pics...


Jeremy & GF.....


Ah Kiat & Zeng Bin


Wanjun & Michelle


Wanjun & Armii


Michelle, Shufen (Dajie) & Armii

Okie after that took a cab home...shagged...

Friday
Wah lao... day started off fine and I was achieving the results I wanted... then came 10am where there is a meeting for our upcoming press conference. Sianz 0.5. Ask me go meeting.I already so many things to rush then still wan to get me involve in so many things... I realli overloaded liaoz... haiz... I ji tao dl and show attitude... was kind of unprofessional but heck... who cares... I need to let them know that, I'm no push over... haiz... but work still nee to get done...

Decided to set myself to go home today at 5.30pm sharp, the time I'm suppose to go home everyday but seldom do it... then was rushing alots things and calling overseas to settle stuffs... In the end, I left office at 6.30pm... okie lar... at least onli miss my timing by 1 hour... everytime I think.... if I got OT pay, I super rich liao... but too bad....

Went to meet Ben with aaron and we went to WCRC for billards... played till 10pm then left... call Armii and she was nearby eating "Bah Zhang" so ask Ben to fetch me there.. Armii say blk 246... so okie.. reached there call her and found out that it is actually 426... Sianz 0.5!! good thing Ben still ard, so he came back and fetch me to 426... waited there for a whil b4 Armii came down... the we jio Shufen and Ah Kiat to tok cock and drink coffee.... Ah Kiat like wan dun wan... then shufen onz... so Armii was driving... so when we reached shufen house, she sms say cannot come out... haiz... bo bian lor... so we ended up goin to 7-11 and buy 2 pacs of rebina and tibits... go void deck and chat till ard 12.45am. After that Armii sent me home... on the way home she like damm moody and I was kind of worried... Kept on asking her but she didn't say.... kind of worried... good thing she reached home safely liao... so tml we set to have steamboat dinner at Suntec... hehe.. looking forward... been wanting to eat that for so long liaoz... But I got a hunch that we will end up go cheong... haiz...

So that's about all my blog for the past few days.... Been thinking alot... changing alot.... but it's till the old me deep inside... just that I had seen more, heard more and been through more... seeing my sec sch friends, esp. the guys, they hadn't changed much... still the same childlike behaviour, makes me think why I like suddenly grew old alot... haiz... life goes on man... K lar.. late liaoz.. tiem to slp... Hooray... tml no need work... HAHAHA.... can sleep late... hehe... Nites guys.. cheers...

Quote: "The greatest gift you can give someone is your time"

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

A lesson learnt and a new thought

Today is a realli bad day at work... Felt stupid, ineffective and inefficient. Made a mistake in work by sending emails to some of the vips and there was a miscommunication... ended up had to write a second batch of emails to apologise and do some damage control... haiz... My boss in the end apologise to me for shouting at me but I told her that she got the right to scold me as I was in the wrong and at least I learnt something today... so perhaps that's the onli good thing... not bad... learnt something... everyday is a new learning day... =)

Took a cab home and went to play soccer. Today start playing soccer after stopping for about a week and found that I had lost quite a bit of my sharpness. I tried even harder and the words that "Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer" kept ringing in my head and telling myself that I cannot fail... I must play well. Although its just a soccer game, I take it very seriously.... I exerted alot of strength but still couldn't get the results. So I cooled off a bit and think what went wrong and how I can improve the situation... after that, I recollected myself and play again... Indeed, everything went well and I enjoyed the remaining 1 hour plus of soccer. So playing soccer had a new meaning for me.. I learnt another lesson. I used to go head on in everything... thinking that if I try long and hard enough, I will achieve the impossible. But now perhaps when I try to hard achieve the impossible and doesn't suceed, I will try to cool off a bit and try again... I will try and try and try... till I achieve it... even if I don't, I shall die achieving it rather than not try... I'm stubborn in things I believe in and will never give up....

Okie. I'm happie for today and attached below is an email sent to me indicating what kind of person I am. A bit of truth here and there... let those who knows me judge how true it is...

Is your birthday day 9 of the month?
Your Life You often have problem in promoting yourself, just because you don't know how to express your true self. On the other hand, you don't really care what they think. This is why people misunderstand you until they really get a chance to learn about your pleasant personality. Opposite sex find you mysterious and worth searching. Your wit is remarkable but sometimes you are too fast to follow. Your Love You won't reveal your feeling even after dreaming about the same guy over and over. Your first love lasts forever. You are responsible to the feeling of your lover. The chance to betray your lover is none. You have luck with children.

Quote: "Don't find fault --- Find a remedy"

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

A new kind of weekend...

Spent this weekend pretty much home. Today, went to church in the morning. Afternoon, met Daph and went to the 2pm New Creation service. There were lots of people there... after that we we took a free shuttle service to city hall. She took 190 while I wanted to take 961. In the end, no 961, so I took 240 home.

Reached home and bathed.. rested for a while then went out with family to CWP for shopping... me bought 2 pant, 2 tops and a iron... haha... after that, we were all tired and decided to da bao mac donalds home... so now finish eating liao... so played games already... bored... haiz... been a realli long time ard 2 yrs plu since I had this kind of lonely weekend... haiz,... but i suppose it's good to stay at home with parents once in a while... should make it a habit... anyway, it will be back to work... now will be looking forward to the Mambo nite on 29/06 as it's my boss bdae and we will all go out together... guess me and aaron will be the young ones... haha.... okie.. let's look on the bright side of life and things will get better...... still dunno wat armii is doing... wah lau... afternoon I called her... or else dun even know if she alive or not... haha... hope she dun lose too much money.... and stay safe and sober....

Decided to use back my old time favourite quote that I came up with...

Quote: "Whatever it is, time will tell everything" -- JasunZ, Without Wax

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

An ugly side of life

hehe... been lazy yesterday and miss a blog.... coz yesterday was working in office till 10.30pm.... was rushing out some publications and contacting US.... coz onli ard 10.30pm in Sg then over in US they wake up... after that was dreading the length of MRT home... then my boss told em to take cab home and claim from company.... hehe... *beams.... reached home and was too tired...

This morning reached office at 9am and after a final briefing, we set of to Meritus for our event... when we reach there, we started setting up the area and it wasn't long at 11.30 that the first person came wanting to register but it was stated clearly in the paper that it onli starts at 12... haiz singapore... so we asked her to queue while we carry on doin our stuffs... by 11.50, the are was already jammed up... wow... I had a hard time controlling the crowd as they are not my trainees and I can't realli shout at them... then there was this incident...

Title of Story: "JasunZ Vs Mad Woman"
Quote: "Whoever wins, we lose"

J == JasunZ & MW == Mad Woman

J: Mdm, can I help you?
MW: I demand to be in the front of the queue!!!
J: Mdm, what's the problem?
MW: I've been in the wrong queue for the last 20 mins, so I demand to be in the front of the queue now!!!
J: Sorry mdm, but we had placed signs around showing the various queue. I'm afraid I can only lead you to the right queue and pls do queue again.
MW: Where are the signs? I don't see any signs... you all didn't put up any signs... I demand to be in the front of the queue!
J: Yes mdm, please follow me.....
J: (Points to the sign) Mdm, this is the sign to indicate the correct queue. Nowcan I show you to the END of the correct queue?
MW: (Shows a damm f**king angry face) . . .

End of Story.....

Hahaha... was damm shiok when I saw her face... after that was the goodie bag incident... always hate it when we give out goodie bags coz the entire ugly side of life and singaporeans come out...haiz... but no choice... singaporeans are human after all...

After the event ended at 5pm, I went back office to settle some stuffs b4 dragging myself on the mrt home. haiz... tired and a saturday wasted... but nvm lar... that's life... rest at home for a while and had dinner... after that chatted with Daph on the phone for sometime...

Me kind of worried about armii... she went KL with a group of friends and onli a few in the group she knows... but as long she don't drink too much should be okie.... will pray for her safety and I told her not to gamble so much oso.... as the saying goes:

"Lose little, take as win" & "No gamble, already win"

But still hope she enjoy herself. We are canceling the trip to HK and think we will go Bangkok instead.... hehe... gotta make the plans soon... okie that's all for now and let's move on Singaporeans towards a grcious society that I had been hoping for... I think I will neve live to see Utopia... My dream... Utopia....

Quote: "Tact is the ability to make a point without making an enemy"

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

Weekend looms...

Finally thrusday is over. Time seems to fly faster and faster. Had a hell of a hectic before lunch period. Coz had to rush out some info for my creative designer so that he can design a brochure for my conference. Packed lunch to office again. In the afternoon, life wasn't so bad.

After work, went to causeway point to meetmy cousins and their in laws who came from Manila and Aussie. They brought their new 10 mths old baby. Her name is Paris Catlin Leong. Super chubby baby and was a hell of a hungry baby as well. We had dinner at Crystal Jade Palace and after that, we walked around b4 goin back home. Just sent them back to their hotels and now blogging coz kind of tired. So would be slping soon. Tml will be a busy day. Coz it's the day before the event.

Attached below is the story I read from the email. It's nice reading through it and think about it from the entire perspective of life.....

A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use while the other disused. Only one child played on the disused track, the rest on the operational track.The train came, and you were just beside the track interchange. It was not possible to stop the train but You could make the train change its course to the disused track and saved most of the kids.However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused track would be sacrificed. Or would you rather let the train go its way?

Which decision will you make?

Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice only one child. To save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision most people would make,morally and emotionally.But, have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the disused track had in fact made the right decision to play at a safe place?

Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who chose to play where the danger was.This kind of dilemma happens around us everyday. In the office,community, in politics and especially in a democratic society, the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of the majority, no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority are, and how farsighted and knowledgeable the minority are.

The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined. And in the case he was sacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him.To make the proper decision is not try to change the course of the train because the kids playing on the operational track should have known very well that track was still in use, and that they should have run away if they heard the train's sirens.

If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die because he never thought the train could come over to that track! Moreover, that track was not in use probably because it was not safe.If the train was diverted to the track, we could put the lives of all passengers on board at stake! And in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one child, you might end up sacrificing hundreds of people to save these few kids.While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be made, we may not realise that hasty decisions may not always be the right one.

I made the decision not to change the course of the train. I always believed that in life, you should always do what you think is right and follow what your heart and mind tells you to... BUT, just be prepared to face whatever consequences that is caused by your decision... as long as you can come to terms with that it will be fine... if not, dun try....

Okie. I suppose that's all and been a bored week so far been just coming home after work... haiz... this weekend is short as I have an event till late evening... haiz... no choice...so I will try to plan a good weekend out... Cheers guys....

Quote: "Everybody makes mistakes; that's why they put erasers on pencils"

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

Thank God It's Wednesday!!!

woooohoooooo... it's wednesday which means it's already half the week gone... today was another hell of a hectic day as I rush here and there and in the end ate packed lunch and i didn't even have the time to buy it myself... my boss bought for me.... haiz....

hadn't been feeling well today had gastric pain since yesterday... and the whole day was bad... but no choice have to push on.... left office at 4.30pm for a meeting with IE Singapore at bugis junction... wah lau... the meetin lasted till 8pm and it was a complete waste of time. discussed some details regarding the exhibition and made a conference call with a bank director from indonesia..... in the end, we came to no agreement and we have to fix another session for conference call again... haiz.... bought a tako pachi ball to eat for dinner and then took 960 home... long journey... slept all the way.,.. came home watch news and chat a while... goin to sleep now... damm tired.... nites guys...

Quote: "Remember that what's right isn't always popular...and what's popular isn't always right"

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

Monday, Tuesday all got blue

Haiz... both my monday and tuesday blue.....

Yesterday work till 6pm then left liao... coz too tired... then I went home and take the car down to suntec to meet aaron and suz.... after having dinner at subway, we went balacarva.... nice plac with great music.... play some staring game with a ger sitting opp me... damm fun... hahaha... after that sent them home... on the way home to woodlands, was damm sleepy and nearly dozed off a few times... but mind over body... so in the end reached home safely....

today is another hectic day of alot of work... but managed to end the day well with some chating with office mates.... haven't heard from Gi yet... dunno how she is.... dun feel like blogging much coz nuthin much to be happie abt... so i shall stop here... buaiz...

Quote: "Character is both developed and revealed by tests, and all of life is a test"

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax