H2O Bed.. Cha cha cha...

Today, said good bye to my dear H2O bed of 8 years.... This bed had been through alot with me... but it's time to go... so got myself a new "King Coil" bed... can bounce leh... But last nite, came home after my project group discussion for marketing management and start draining out the water... after abt 45 mins of draining, finally drain it almost dry...



*Bye bye beddie...

Life been pretty much moodless.... not happie nor sad... basically, I just feel neutral towards many things... but 1 thing did change, my temper is not as good as b4....

Anyway, woke up one morning and got attracted to the sky outside my room.. so faster take out my camera and snapped a few pics...


*Wow... stormy leh... ard 6.45am, view from my room.


* as you can see, cars coming in from JB jam liao... so dun come in at ard 6.45am.. haha

Okie lar... tml is saturday le... but gotta work... goin to bring my Marketing Management book to study on the way there and back... exams in 2 weeks time leh... siao liaoz..... after work, goin to super market... goin to make some finger food for the potluck gathering at Rena's house in the evening.... =)

bye bye...

Quote: "If a person is unlucky, rear the chick will become rooster... even rooster rear already will also fly away..."

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

Crossroads

I would say that my life is at cross roads now. I have a few paths to choose. It's been nearly 23 years since I stepped into this world of agony, suffering, pain, hate.... Now at this very moment, I feel so very alone, lonely. I have nothing, nobody. People who made promise about being together and being there for you in times of need is not here anymore. All promises that people made are nothing but a full load of crap. To think that I honour my word. Piece of shit. I had been a fool living in this world. Being played by people whom I placed my trust in. I hate this feeling. I hate my very own existence. I see no value. I have no goals and I lost my dreams. I had never felt this way before. Never so lost. Never so alone. Perhaps this is what I had reaped. This is what I deserved. I was born into this. Someone said, "You can't control fate, but you can control your destiny" I used to believe in this and thus I had this motto "Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer" As time went by, I started to doubt it myself. Nothing is going right in my life. It's in a total mess. I had tried to improve myself. I'm so tired... so very tired... Why must I suffer everyday? There is definately a better way out. I don't want to admit defeat to life but I'm fighting a losing battle with each day that passes me.

I promised someone to become a better person. Quit the things I should. I had done it. But where is she now? I need help and encouragement from others. I cannot do this alone. I had lost my drive in everything. I'm lost... fucking lost. Disappointed in life and myself. I had totally lost hope. The only thing that I have left is my body for the soul and mind is gone. I'm indeed no longer myself.

I shall stop blogging now. Bye

Quote: "When a person loses hope, the value of his existence is lost too" -- JasunZ

~Time had proven everything~
JasunZ, Without Wax

Stiff!!!

Woke up this morning with a stiff neck.. Must be due to the near 2 hours chat on the phone last nite..... Was feeling kind of down as it was realli bad. Couldn't move my neck much and have to turn my whole body in order to look left and right... Ke down... go to office... ask my AGM help me massage... steady rite... where got company, got Executive ask his AGM help to massage one... mine have... envious rite... then later massage liao still not good... so ask the AGM's sister to come during lunch and treat me... After the lunch treatment, felt much better but still got some problem.. so will be having an appointment tml to fix up the rest of the problem...

I handed over my accounts to Chun and Tracy today... so my work load will be much lesser le... Phew... finally... So i will be planning what I'm goin to do for the next week.... Gonna do lots of A&P for the conference... gotta attract more trade visitors and more delegates... One more month's time b4 the first big event at Singapore Expo Hall 2... excited... gotta be a great experience and good exposure for me...

Study today was okie... learnt more new stuffs and cleared my doubts... hehe.. nice... I'm a genius after all... hahaha... oops... humble..humble.... I'm the MOST humble person... oops... nope... I'm humble... not the most lar.... haha... crap...

okie... done for this entry...

Quote: "Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first"

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

Deep thoughts

Been a busy period. I'm rushing for classes every Monday, Wednesday & Friday. Only Tues and Thurs no lessons, but these are days or rather nites for me to do my tutorials. Haiz... realli no life leh... kaoz... Time been really flying past for in recent times and there's so much to do and so little time and so little energy and my attention span and my drive is being drained away and I can't do anything about it as I got no time to recharge...

Lots happened in my life lately. As in not realli happen to me, but I witness alot of things, spoke to different pple and heard their advices on life. I like eating and having lunches with Uncle Max & Simon. They do teach me alot about life and they want me to learn from their experiences. I just like it so much listening to them. It's full of wisdom and money can't buy that.

Think, I will try to catch up with weilun this weekend with dennis as well... time to have a mini chill out session b4 dennis leave...

Okie lar... got financial accounting II tml and I tried to do the tutorial but SUCKS!!!... i dunno how to do at all... shit... die liaoz... haiz...

Quote: "If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning"

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

What is Life?

Been a busy week.

Thursday
This is Simon's big day. Woke up and went Tiong Bahru to wait for him at 8.45am. He picked me and Aaron up. Went to his house and he got changed into his suit.... He was like stressed and nervous. Of course mah... getting married leh... later the other 2 "brothers" oso arrived and we left for the bride's house. We went there is a bridal care and 2 other cars. On reaching, the stupid "sisters" immediately closed the doors. -_-"' then they got their youngest brother to come and open the door... even open the door oso muz negotiate the price damm long.... backboneless leh the guy muz listen to the gers b4 he open... 20 yrs old liao still like dat... then we went through 3 rounds of paying b4 we got into the house. Thought it was the end. Inside the house, climb to the 2nd floor, they wan to play again... -_-"' in the end after paying, still have to do 100 push ups... ke down.. while I was doing, that "po fu" was counting for me... and the camera man still so "professional" lie on the floor to take my pic... thanks... imagine... an officer kenna knock down by a ger... haiz... nvm.. for Simon's life time happiness... After that went back and to various houses, collected a roasted pig... finally at 3pm, job done and rush back to office to clear some stuffs..... at night, went down to the wedding area to help out again.... felt so happie when I saw him march in... finally... he got married... after the guests left, we went to the hotel room to pick up our stuffs and left. was 12 am... didn't wan to disturb him... coz besides from counting those angpows, he still have to "zhou ren" mah... hehe

Sam, Aaron and me then went to devils... first time there though... no need cover as we got member card as one of my colleague is the boss friend... was not very crowded and the crowd was much more mature... surprise.... then there were quite a few bar top dancers... they were damm wild and drag guys up to the bar top and strip them..... then there was this thing where a bar top dancer will sit at the bar top and for 10 dollars, you lie on her while u sit down and she pour 2 different hard liquor into your mouth... sam said that he pay if i go... and i rejected... then dunno y, he paid one of the ger and she started dragging me to the bar top... shit... but aiya... since like dat... be sporting lor... dun make her job difficult... then she rest me on he friend and she made those kind of seducing look... -_-"'.... so, my hands were locked and while lying down, she was pouring the 2 drinks when the girl who pulled me started to strip me... good thing my reaction fast.. after the dancer finished pouring, i faster got up and walk away.... basket.. kenna molest... sob sob... dunno wat drink she mix but was the volume of 4 shots lor... later i felt damm hot then later cold... simi lj???

Friday
Busy day... there was an internal audit meeting then rest of the day busy working till 8pm.... nothing much to say lar.. tired...

Saturday
Not working today coz tml sunday got a full day event at suntec... so saturday off. Morning went to west coast rc for free billard. After that went town to kino and borders to search for some textbooks... then went to SIM to study and revise for next week till 5.30pm... then we went to parkway parade and walked around... after that, went to Aaron's church for night service... after the service end, made my way home.. damm down... it's saturday nite and I'm all alone taking that noisy bus on my way home... and onli 9.30pm leh... haiz.... call friends but most of them go clubbing which I don't realli do much now... now I feel lonely... and my mood swing should be setting in soon... been a long time since I had this feeling... haiz.. I'm cursed lar... cursed to be alone... no matter how well I treat others, nothing good will ever come out of it... perhaps it is retribution bah... haiz.... On my way home, I asked myself wat I was doing with my life.... I'm destroying myself.... losing the pple I love and cherish.. haiz... fuck it.. watever... I going out now...

Quote: "Life is what you make of it. Live it the way you want" -JasunZ

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

Be alive!!!

Recently, I'm undergoing the process of "moving the mountains" in my life. Got this quote after chating with dennis and clare. Juz came back from the Guys session behind my house along the seaside.... chat alot... talk about the old times etc.... some real quality time b4 clare leaves again on thurs...

As said, I'm changing myself again... and it's for the better. I wan to be more alive... although I'm always like hyper and noisy when I'm with my friends, that's another kind of alive. I wan to be alive in my life now. I wan to realli start living.... living for a reason... living for myself... face my feelings.. don't keep it any longer... realli do what I wan to do and achieve.... Be alive!!!

I like to realli care more for the pple around me.. be real and true to the pple ard me.... be who a part of me was used to... showing real care instead of juz making it up and not realli care... it's tiring sometimes but I'm sure it's worth it...

Life is indeed everchanging.... I always make important decisions to change myself and my life after thinking for sometime.... Juz now, as we were chatting at the sea.. a large part of time, the 2 was toking abt topics that was of no concern to me... so I sat on the rock and act like I was a sage... actually, I was pondering on Life... erm... actually my life.. how to improve it... I'm always trying to come out with new values and principles to add them either to my must do list or must not do list.... So I came out with a few just now and I think they will improve my life... so I shall see how it goes b4 I introduce it to the blog.... muz do test marketing mah.. hehe...

Basically, on Monday, went fishing with Dad and evening time go for my first lesson on Financial Accounting II.... the lecture was boring and the stuffs that the lecture taught, I can read myself... hopefully it's coz it's juz the introduction onli lor... bring on the real hard stuffs man... hehe... So today work is super busy... in the end can't reach my target.... and work can't finish... but come to think of it... what for set target that u can easily reach..... so I shall continue to test my limits as and when I can... and if you can finish your work... what for employ u in the company... hehe... my own theories again... haha...

This weekend will be goin KL on business trip... excited... first one... hehe.. although KL, sure I will learn new things again.. good.. will be happie about it.. heeee...

K lar... kind of tired now... got a long day ahead... shall hit the sack now.... buaiz...

Quote: "Every stumble and turn is a lesson learnt"

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

Feeling Neutral ???

Life had been much simplier for me recently. Trying hard to get back to my normal life where I think simple and live simple. Being a happier person. Not caring so much about what happens around me and be in my own world of dream and fantasy. It's definately a happier life. It's hard to be like my old self once again. Right now, I don't even know myself. I only know a few things. I'm going to wait..... wait until dunno when... but I decided to keep waiting... keep hoping.... she can take away everything from me... but I will always have hope with me. Hope that she will change her mind some day... I came so far.... I will not give up.... I shall improve my life... I will work hard, study hard and live a better life... I'm sure she wants that for me too....

After lesson on Friday, went to Dennis house to meet up with the rest and we played a night of mahjong till morning... then clare and me went to be the first customers at Mc Donalds. After the breakfast... I continue to classes for saturday,.... was realli damm sleepy and classes were long... made some new friends and had lunch with them.... pretty nice pple I suppose... We had a Quiz in class and my group scored the highest.... so our group can have a lucky draw... our tutor came with a bag... and asked us to put our hand in it and pick something from it without looking... both the girls got their highlighter... when i reached my hand in, I felt something, long and big... so I thought that it was a big highlighter... which was something I needed for future lessons.... when I took it out... -_-"'.... it's was a permant black thick marker... what was I suppose to do with it... wah lau... anyway... it's a nice gift... I shall be happie... after lesson end at 4 pm, proceed to toapayoh mrt... then this incident happen...

Mayb due to the bombing, there was this bovine indian lady, acting as security I suppose.... she signal to me that she had to check my bag.... MMMMmmm... so she thinks that I am a terrorists... shit... i wanted to rush for the arriving train to get home early..... I was so tired...and still have to enterain this kind of stupid pple who waste my time.. sianz... bo bian... so I went over and did the following things and walked away...

*Puts bag on the security table
*Unzips bag and takes out jacket
JasunZ: Okie... you see under all these textbooks, is 10kg of TNT flakes to make bombs....
JasunZ: On the side here is a pistol... can you feel it??
JasunZ: DO I LOOK LIKE A TERRORIST TO YOU???
Stupid Indian Sercurity Officer: You very funny leh....
JasunZ: -_-''' *Storms off feeling dulan and have to wait for next train....

Haiz....suay... went home and reach ard 5 plus... had a nice bath and then slept like a pig... Aaron call me at 10pm.. telling me about working on Sunday... but I was too tried.... and I fell asleep again.... woke up next day sunday at 7am plus... hehe... sleep... damm long... super shiok.. haha... then read sms... found out that I have to work on Sunday... sianz... have to go Sheraton Hotel... coz got seminar....

Let's skip the whole part about the work thing... After work, wen to sentosa and played some frisbie n touch ruby... had a nice time.... it rained alot and we went shower....

There was such a long que for bathing.... as it was raining... there were 2 sections in the bath... 1 was the open air one and the other sheltered.... you see singaporean... haiz... think since small, mother teach them raining muz stay indoors so wun get wet and fall sick... we decided to use the open air ones.... since we were goin to bath and get wet anyway... those pple queing there stare at us as if we were aliens... haha.... after we finish bathing, then they do what singaporeans do the best... monkey see, monkey do... they started to bath in the rain... haiz.... -_-"'

After that, Bob sent me home and reach home had dinner... watch a bit of TV, chat with huiqi for a while.... then had this bad headache... it's migraine lar.... was breaking out in cold sweat... so ate
some painkillers and wanted to go sleep actually... but later not tired... so watch DVDs.... haiz.... now watch finish... bloggin lor... oops it's 2.43am... but nvm... I take off tml.... goin to spend a day with dad coz it's his bdae... but at nite got to study though... hehe... okie lar... time to sleep now and I shall enjoy myself tml... hehe

Quote: "The end of a Love relationship, is another new beginning of Love"

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

School is good...

Today is the first day of real school. Lecturer taught 2 topics today. After came home, carry on doing my tutorials... now tired... Today bought myself a Victorinox bag so that I can bring to sch. the bag super nice and useful... can put laptop, books and nice compartments and design... oso bought a pair of mizuno shoes at onli 60 bucks... hehe... goiin to end this post... coz having a slight fever now... so cannot stay up late... got to rest now....... hope it gets better...

Quote: "All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost"

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

Lazy Boy

Hmmm... Getting lazier and lazier to post... hehe... Anyway, here it is...

Friday nite went KTV at Party world with my colleagues for a farewell party as well as entertaining some doctors. Gi came down to meet me up and join in the ktv. Was damm tired. After that, she left for home, while we hitch a ride from Sammuel... went to round singapore and then went fong seng for prata...

During the weekend, had to work... haiz... Saturday went to work till 2.30pm... wahhhh... after that went home, was suppose to continue to work, but fell asleep on the bed instead... woke up ard 7pm and arrange for some nite activites... Took my laptop and went down to JP to carry on my work while waiting for dennis and clare to come down for movie... Went to MJ to buy cd and saw Karen there.... bought Pink Marthin... nice nice.... After that slack at Mac to work on my presentation... after they came, we went to catch the 11.50pm movie, War of the Worlds. The movie is not fantastic.... and the little girl inside is damm super irritating... haiz...

Sunday went to church... after that, went down sentosa with clare, dennis, merlion... Gi and her friend came down to meet us... Played for 30 mins then a storm came... so went to harbour in the shelter... after that rain stop and we continued... play some volleyball and super ring... then Gi's friend threw the ring up a coconut tree... haiz... we always got this kind of situation... so we got used to it... got a long pole and after some effort, got it down... haha... waz new???

Left ard 6pm then proceed to Lavander food court for dinner... Gi left after that and rest of us went suntec... me and clare left the 2 of them and we went to walk walk and do some window shopping.... tired... reach home, dad bought durain, so took some durain to aaron...... came home, tired but still had to continue working... haiz..

Today is Monday leh... first day of school... so went to PSB at toa payoh... hehe... ended early coz it's the first day... reach home ard 9 plus... haiz... 2years of hard work will start, but I shall Kampate... hehe...

that's all for now... anyway, Gi bought me a pair of pouches from Meji Shrine in Japan... digital cam still with Jiayin.,.. so when it's back, shall take the pics and post it here...

Quote: "The most beautiful commitment is Believe"

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax