Crossroads

I would say that my life is at cross roads now. I have a few paths to choose. It's been nearly 23 years since I stepped into this world of agony, suffering, pain, hate.... Now at this very moment, I feel so very alone, lonely. I have nothing, nobody. People who made promise about being together and being there for you in times of need is not here anymore. All promises that people made are nothing but a full load of crap. To think that I honour my word. Piece of shit. I had been a fool living in this world. Being played by people whom I placed my trust in. I hate this feeling. I hate my very own existence. I see no value. I have no goals and I lost my dreams. I had never felt this way before. Never so lost. Never so alone. Perhaps this is what I had reaped. This is what I deserved. I was born into this. Someone said, "You can't control fate, but you can control your destiny" I used to believe in this and thus I had this motto "Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer" As time went by, I started to doubt it myself. Nothing is going right in my life. It's in a total mess. I had tried to improve myself. I'm so tired... so very tired... Why must I suffer everyday? There is definately a better way out. I don't want to admit defeat to life but I'm fighting a losing battle with each day that passes me.

I promised someone to become a better person. Quit the things I should. I had done it. But where is she now? I need help and encouragement from others. I cannot do this alone. I had lost my drive in everything. I'm lost... fucking lost. Disappointed in life and myself. I had totally lost hope. The only thing that I have left is my body for the soul and mind is gone. I'm indeed no longer myself.

I shall stop blogging now. Bye

Quote: "When a person loses hope, the value of his existence is lost too" -- JasunZ

~Time had proven everything~
JasunZ, Without Wax