KTV-ing Away...

Went to church in the morning and afternoon went to cut my hair. Perhaps its time for a new start.

Juz came back from Ktving. Went to causeway point new Party World with Yiling, Armii and 2 of her other office friends. Sang from 7 to 11. Felt real tired after 2 days of continuous singing. Now feeling letargic... so I guess it's time for me to slp early. Nites guys. The feeling is back. It's nearly 2 weeks. How time flies and I still feel it...

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

An Interesting Weekend

Phew, wat a day for me. Went to work in the morning and finally it rained. Work was slow and easy until we suddenly had to rush down to Sheraton Hotel. I reserved a room for Dr Balaji, Minister of Health Singapore. Coz my boss was having an appointment with him. We brought some materials down and handed over to her. We acted as security, checking the room, pretending to be secret agents to clear the room of any bomb threats. After that, me and Aaron went down to Chua Chu Kang to pick up his Mont Blanc Pen. Then trouble came. Apparently there was some errors in the advertisement that was suppose to be published in Korea. So I had to make a call to cease all printings. The Korean I spoke to had lousy English and I could hardly understand him. Finally after blowing up, he got my point. He was really stubborn though.

Went down to PS to meet yiling and jiayin. She bought a keychain for me and jiayin but different color. Hehe… so nice of her. Jiayin oso hav one. *hint.. haha. We walked ard PS and headed down to taka for La Mian. Stay a while to tok cock b4 walking to wisma. I left them and went to meet up with Giselia. She out on weight le… but still as huggable. Feel so much at ease with her now. It’s been a hard year for me to go thru. Went for a meal at Indo Chine. I juz drank some coffee as I had dinner already. Realli good catching up with her on my life and a bit of hers. We then walked over to cineleisure for KTV as she complained that I never sang to her. So we went. Later her friend Ben came to join us but he didn’t sang much.

We then went over to Starbucks for chilling out. Hit of quite well with Ben. Nice guy and super tok cock like me. Hahaha…. Realli relive the old times when I was a gd friend with her and chilling out, juz toking. Took a cab back.

Haiz, Yiling is feeling down. But I totally understand. Can’t fault her. Dennis hor, if u reading this blog, U better feel a bit guilty. She went home early purposely so that she can tok to u. haiz. I understand dennis oso lar. It’s good to go out with friends to club and chill out to build up some rapport over there. Yiling, I know u will read this. Hope u understand. I’m sure dennis wun make it a habit. He knows his piorities. He will remain true to u. I can bet my “Di*k” on it. So no worries.

Now as I’m bloggin, I watch Man U Vs Portsmouth. Hehe.. that’s all for now folks. Tml will try to meet up with yiling and make up for today… Feels guilty… Mmm… feel the itch to play mahjong… *hints again

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

A New Kind Of Life.

This morning when reach office, Chun Hui bought a small cake to give as a form of apology and to thank for the help given to her. Haiz, this xiao mei. hehe

Juz reached home after goin out to chill with my colleagues. We went to a restaurant at Tiong Bahru for dinner, after that we wanted to go Balacarva but there were too many pple. So, ended up, we went for a drink at Pan Pacific hotel. The live music was sang by a lady who's singing I could not make out at all. The piano was good but the lady... haiz... failure for a place like dat. Anyway, it's highlife starting for me. Ordered a small glass of Baliey that cost $20 bucks. Aiya, anyway, dun care lar. Felt the place was too dead and went over to Harry's Bar at esplande. Nice place and the guitar was good.

Think there was a play going on and Koh Cheng Mun, Hossan Leong and some other Mediacorp pple were there. Interesting to see the life of celebrities. Hehe. We continue to chat. I ordered my fav Shilrey's Temple. Damm nice to enjoy the music and chill out with friends. After that, ard 11.45pm, took a taxi home.

A new kind of life that I never thought I will go thru. Now I'm starting to understand Giselia more. Perhaps it's too late. But it's good to understand.

Tml will be work till 12.30 then go home to rest b4 meeting up with Yiling and Jiayin for shopping and walking ard. hehe. can't wait. I already got my entire weekend program planned out le... so happie... that's all folks...

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

I juz pressed the "Soft-Reset" Button of my Life

I'm feeling as if I had pressed the soft-reset button in my life. I'm back to myself. The crappy when happie, scarcastic always, mature when needed to be kind of me. I learn to take life as it comes and live each day for myself and to the fullest. I will fight for my dreams and make them reality.

Been real busy for the past few days. I used to knock off at 5.30pm everyday. Now, I seem to enjoy leaving later and working more. The more I work, the happier I am. Though I feel tired, I'm happie abt it. I seem to enjoy the serinity and silence of the office when all the rest had left for their homes. I juz stand beside the glass window and look down at orchard road. The cars passing by, people strolling, chating..... basically it's wat I call watching life pass by without doin anything. Sometimes, it's realli good to take sometime off to look at life and think abt yourself. wat had u been doin and learn from it. This had became a practice for me.I enjoy looking at life past. It juz makes me wonder wat the minds of the people passing you are thinking at that moment. When you see the different lives passing u, each of them with a story to tell, you then realise how small you actually are in this world and how difficult it is for 2 person who did not even knew each other in the first place, to come together thru time, fate and chance and to spend the rest of their lives together. It's juz simply amazing...beautiful.

I start to enjoy ktv more n more le. It feels so good to sing. My office pple are asking to go singing again. It will be damm fun. Can't wait for the gathering when the rest of the gang return from their overseas trip. hehe.

Life had been so different for me. I had met more interesting pple in the past 2 years than I had met in my first 20 years. I like my job. Coz I'm able to meet different pple almost everyday, speak to them and most importantly, convince them. Today met a cute korean ger. Same age as me. She finished her studies in Swiss and now working wiht my company. During the meeting, from time to time, she like juz look at me with the corner of her eyes, making me feel so uneasy. haha. But she not my cup of tea. Would b interesting to tok to her and ask her abt the life overseas. She speaks English, Korean, German, Swiss and a bit of spanish. Damm cool... hehe..

Tml is the ending of the week le. How time flies. Got to start planning my weekend programs. Been sometime since I had to plan my weekend programs. Haiz. I'm best at adapting to changes. That's me.

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

A day of much Haste

Woke up in the moring, feeling good. A breath of new life has been given to me. I suddenly see more hope in the world of evil. Although I'm feeling good, something is still amiss. I dunno wat it is, but I can feel it.

Work is getting interesting. Although had a late meeting with a client till 9 plus without dinner. I onli ate fruits for lunch coz dun feel like eating. The meeting was a good learning experience for me. Learnt alot and meet new important people again. Feels damm good to learn a new thing everyday. My thrist and hunger for knowledge and success is back again and it's burning inside me. I want to hav a balanced life, a new life, a life.

Reach home ard 10plus, dad left some claypot rice for me... hehe. at least can save some money. Since I already got gastric, so doesn't make much difference. Tml hav to reach office early as there will b a meetin with my CEO at 8am. Phew.

The world is indeed a vast place. There are so many different people and you won't know who u r goin to meet next. Live life to the fullest.

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

I'm Born Again

Juz came back from watching Constanine. Nice show. It helped me think alot about my life. I been trying my whole life to go against the flow of things, to rebel. In the past few years, I had more successes in life than setbacks. I became proud and drifted away from God. I had sinned greatly. He had given me lots of chances by punishing me a bit here and there but I did not learnt and became worse. This time, I'm really being punished till I'm reaching my limit. God brought me down. I prayed alot and now I'm very peaceful in heart. I feel good. I had never had this feeling for the past 2 years.

I wan to make up for lost times. I will make it happen.

"God never closes a door without opening a window."

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

I can't hold it anymore.

Armii was rite, I got to be hardhearted. I muz b selfish and stop just thinking for others. I must think more for myself. Perhaps that's the reason why I'm feeling so hurt now. I'm yet to recover from the previous impact and now with this coming, I had indeed dug a grave for myself and never to rise again.

I should had listen to the people around me and not pick up the phone, but I couldn't help it. I juz felt so much. I'm still too soft, not hard hearted enough, not selfish enough and I dunno how to protect myself. No longer after today, I will really become my former self. It will not be someone people like. Coz when hate fills a person and there is no love left in him, what good can come out of him.I'm goin to be someone like dat. At least in this way, I can protect myself from anymore hurts. I'm no longer goin to think how to love people, care for them or make them happy. It's their life and their fucking life, not a fucking problem of mine. It's proven me right that I should not treat gers well. I'm not gulity of anything. I had commited more than I should to something that hurt me ever so deeply over and over again. I hate it now. I dun wan it.... FUCK.... FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK..... FUCK the world, FUCK everything... out of my way... The Old Me is BACK!!!!!

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, My Way

I hate Myself for loving you.

As you can see from the title today, it is titled after a retro song. I really hate myself now. I thought I can just stop contacting her, get her out of my life and forget it. I suppose I can't coz' she was already a part of my life. Now I feel as if one big part of me had been lost. At the same time last week, things were so different. Now I hate weekends. The same kind of emptiness that was filled me is back again and it had became worse. I miss her so much but I know I can't be with her anymore for her sake. I want her to be a better person and a happier person but I can't do anything to help. Last time I saw her, was her back view. The night of valentine's day when I sent her home and she entered her door. I never thought that it would be the last time I will be seeing her. I wanted to hug her that night but she walked off to her door. I thought to myself, don't worry, I will meet her tomorrow.

Tomorrow indeed came but everything changed. The world suddenly seem to fall upon me without me knowing it and I was unable to do anything about it. I always told myself to fight for the things I want in life. I had fought for it for a long time and told myself I finally found the one. I gave my all and all. In the end, I lost everything over night. I'm now paying for a crime I did not commit, serving a sentence I'm not gulity of. That's what making me hate everything in the world now. Everything in the world except her. I'm still waiting for her to come back if she ever does.....

Love Hurts.... It's true. I'm yet to find one that does not.

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

I'm feeling "Good"

The title [I'm feeling "Good"] is inspired by the latest Michael Buble cd titled "It's Time". Inside the song, he really is feeling good unlike me who is not at all.

This morning met up with Marshall and sold my HP 6365 for $650. It's considered a good deal as I bought the set 2nd hand for only $700 dollars. It's a great pleasure to sell the set to someone like Mr Marshall. He's the Managing Director of a regional coffee company. Always good to know people of influence because you never know when they might come in handy.

I just simply love my O2 mini. It's not a need, it's a want and an expensive "want". Bought it with cold hard cash for $1168 but I don't feel any pain at all. Just felt like buying something to make myself happy. That's the problem with me. Whenever I'm feeling down, it's either I eat alot of spend alot. This time round, I decided to spend. At least I'm still able to see the stuffs I buy after that. Usually girls will buy alot of things but as for me, I will just buy a single item that cost alot. haiz. That's me.

As you can see from this entry that there are no short forms or "singlish" except for those in italic. I decided to improve my command of english so that it will help me in my work. It just feels so good to write things that I feel like saying. I guessed it's because no one is around me to listen now. I'm all alone. All by myself. Loneliness and pain consumes me every single second once I have nothing to do. So I keep myself occupied all the time. When my parents are at home, I pretend to be happy and act normal. I didn't tell them anything as I do not want them to be worried. I had grown up. I can live my own life and make my own decisions. I try to go out but whenever there is no one to accompany me, I will either sleep or hang around the basketball court to play soccer, basketball or badminton. Healthy life for me I suspose.

I had decided to slim down. Just bought a weighing machine. Perhaps it's time to get back the lean me before I go out to "kill" people and act "bastard" With the gift of mine in tongues and better packaging and marketing of myself, I'm confident that I will do well.

Tomorrow will be a better day. Armii promise to go clubing with me. She is so nice to me. Accompany me when I'm down and console me. How time flies. During our poly days, it was her who needed my consuling. A great friend she is. Love her to bits. I asked Aaron to go along together with Fonia da jie. I think we shall go Mdm Wong and perhaps can meet some old friends there. I miss the days when I camped few days a week at Mdm Wong.

I had decided to start blogging again as it can keep both my buddies over at down under updated on my life and the mischiefs that I'm up to. I also feel that there is no longer a need to hide my sorrows and pain, happiness or achievements.

I'm back and still Without Wax.

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

My Last Post to You.

Remember Ger, everything I said.

For my part, I'm no longer goin to love a love that hurts.

For your part, never again try to hurt a love that loves.

Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer. JasunZ, Without Wax

The pain is back again

Too often we don't realize what we have until its gone
Too often we wait too late to say "I'm Sorry - I was wrong"
Sometimes it seems that we hurt the ones we hold dearest to our hearts
and we allow foolish things to tear our lives apart.

Far too many times we let unimportant things into our minds
and then its usually too late to see what made us blind.

So be sure that you let people know how much they mean to you
Take that time to say the words before your time through

Be sure that you appreciate everything you've got
and be thankful for the little things in life that mean alot

Finale

I shall not read or write anymore blogs....it's causing so much mental torture to me... it's enough....

JasunZ, Gift of the Gap.

I'm me again. Once again, I proved myself to turn the worst situation to perfection. I'm so thankful that I'm blessed with the gift to convince pple of the things I want them to believe and I'm doin it to perfection. Who cares abt moral.... and other stuffs. It's my way. The way I want it to be. I'm JasunZ, Without Wax.

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~ JasunZ, Without Wax

My Fury will know no limits....

It's damm fucking cb to be misunderstood esp. by ur best friend but i'm giving him the benefit of the doubt.... My emotions are building up towards the meeting at 2130, Orchard Parade Hotel Starbucks...... hope we're still friends after the meeting and settle this once and for all b4 they leave for aussie.... i hate passing the msg...

Been happie wif work... things are picking up better.... went to KTV wif my colleagues. I'ts a so called bdae celebration for Uncle Max and farewell party for Da jie Rena.... spend a truly wonderful time there... hokkien songs, english songs, chinese songs.... and dear sang a few good hits and they clapped after she finish each song.... hehe... feel so proud of her..... sent her home with aaron and rch home ard 2am.

Sat went to work and after that,met up with dear at paragon... she bought me a bread... hehe... first time ger buy me bread.... hehe... so happie... although I didn't show it... spent the whole day with her and sent her home ard 10pm.... tired.... hehe... time to slp.....

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~ JasunZ, Without Wax

The Change is Complete.....

It's done. The change is complete. I'm goin back. I'm goin out now to meet my friends. I'm evil again.

Moodless

I dunno whether to be happie or sad....nowadays, I got no mood swings.... basically, I'm moodless.... not happie nor sad.... the onli thing I do now is to bury myself in work... come home and sleep.... time flies veri fast like tis and I dun hav time to think alot which is good... I had already done watever I could and said watever I wanted to say... Now all I can do is wait and let time tell everything.

Rushing work everyday. Trying to think of ideas and learning the tricks of the trade as much as possible. But one thing is that my confidence is realli getting lower and lower. I muz get hold of myself. My old problem is coming back. Haiz. Spent so many years building myself up and I dun wan it to go down the drain now. I'm realli slowly but knowing changing back to my former self. The old self which I tried so hard to get rid of. Perhaps I never realli changed in the first place. I juz pretend for some time to be someone I am not. Even when saying this, I dun fell anything. I will use to feel sad or get a mood swing but not now. Wat is happening?

Perhaps I should juz shut myself and lead a routine life...... fuck it.... watever it is, time will tell everything.

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~ JasunZ, Without Wax