I hate Myself for loving you.

As you can see from the title today, it is titled after a retro song. I really hate myself now. I thought I can just stop contacting her, get her out of my life and forget it. I suppose I can't coz' she was already a part of my life. Now I feel as if one big part of me had been lost. At the same time last week, things were so different. Now I hate weekends. The same kind of emptiness that was filled me is back again and it had became worse. I miss her so much but I know I can't be with her anymore for her sake. I want her to be a better person and a happier person but I can't do anything to help. Last time I saw her, was her back view. The night of valentine's day when I sent her home and she entered her door. I never thought that it would be the last time I will be seeing her. I wanted to hug her that night but she walked off to her door. I thought to myself, don't worry, I will meet her tomorrow.

Tomorrow indeed came but everything changed. The world suddenly seem to fall upon me without me knowing it and I was unable to do anything about it. I always told myself to fight for the things I want in life. I had fought for it for a long time and told myself I finally found the one. I gave my all and all. In the end, I lost everything over night. I'm now paying for a crime I did not commit, serving a sentence I'm not gulity of. That's what making me hate everything in the world now. Everything in the world except her. I'm still waiting for her to come back if she ever does.....

Love Hurts.... It's true. I'm yet to find one that does not.

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax