Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The Spirit of Living

Lets Blog...

I always asked myself and also posted this question to my friends.

Why do you work?

To me, one works so that he/she is able to earn a keep to sustain the kind of life that one enjoys.

In living a Life, I'm sure majority of us aim to be happy. There are many ways of becoming happy and of course many standards and expectations of what happiness is.

To a mother with a sick child, happiness is as simple as the child getting well and that's what matters most to her.

To a person living in extreme poverty, happiness is just knowing that there is food to sustain life for one more day.

To some, happiness might mean getting a luxury car, expensive property, club membership.

The way one was born into Life and how one was brought up will largely affect and impact their measure and expectations of happiness in Life.

I had always been asking myself, when was the last time I experienced happiness thay is not superficial.

Happiness need not be loud bouts of laughter and crazy jokes. To me happiness is being at peace with yourself and being able to take control of your life to create happiness for yourself instead of relying on others to make you happy.

It can be as simple as knowing that there is something to look forward to, a goal to achieve, a date with friends, completing a task and many more.

I suppose these are what we term simple pleasures in Life.

I feel sad for the current state of society.

With all the marketing and media around, it had somehow tweak and obscured the meaning of happiness.

The new generation is brought up in such a way with constant exposure to well-planned and highly executed marketing campaign.

Where did that simple pleasure of flying a kite, taking a relaxing bike ride or having a simple potluck go?

As said, it all boils down to the measure and expectation of happiness that we had been atuned to.

Alas, the change of Life, unknown to many others...

Quote: "Take the opportunity to jump into a puddle or play in the rain. You will be surprised at the amount of happiness you had been missing."

~I'm JasunZ, Without Wax - Since 1982~
Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer.

Monday, April 19, 2010

April Updates...

Forgotten to blog for a while...

So, for first quarter, not too bad. Only needed to go KL and HKG in Feb. 2 trips only and that means more time for myself!!!

Just returned from Bali last week! Aiya... For work la... Not for pleasure or holiday. Although it was for work, we had the full team there and it was fun.

Came back from Bali refreshed! I think coz didnt use my brain much for a few days...

Just heard news last week that I will need to start travelling after May till Sep! No choice, Im just a simple person trying to make a honest living while staying as happy as I can be!!!

Anyway, will know my schedule soon... Once I start flying, year 2010 will be over just like that! Alas, time and tide wait for no Man... Wait... Im just a boy... I mean I would like to think so... Haha.. Dream on la Uncle...

I came up with this quote the other day...

Quote: "The priorities in your life determines how you live it."

I'm JasunZ, Without Wax ~ Since 1982

Saturday, March 06, 2010

Why?

When people around me are down and moody, I will be there....

I'm not expecting anything in return... Perhaps its just dumb of me to think that people treat me the same way I treat them.

Humans are selfish by nature. There is no care in this world. Care is only shown if there is no trade off on the givers end. If there is any compromise, its just too bad. Screw your own life and you just got to pull yourself out of that rut. Perhaps the next time, I will be there for you... This might be the reply I will get... Not literally hearing it but feeling the message...

Now, there is nothing left... You deserved it Jason!!! Fucking idiotic piece of shit and lowdown loser.. You are the one that screwed your own life...

Stop caring about others... Screw them if it benefits you... Since it had not worked for you for so many years... U should just wisen up and change how you handle your Life and others...

Perhaps, this should be the way... Fuck... Fuck my Life...

Quote: "You screwes your own life by being noce to others... Stop whining!"

I'm JasunZ, Without Wax ~ Since 1982

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Placing others as a priority before self

I had Facebook-ed this topic a few days ago about my problem... If you call this a problem.

In my life and the way I live mine, unknowingly, I seem to think for others more than I think for myself.

I wanted to gather thoughts of others on this. One of my friends posted this: "JC (Jesus Christ) put others before himself and got screwed."

Not wrong thou and true enough although there is a tinge of question about the role of JC. But, I cannot compare myself yo God.

In my decisions in life, I keep people around me as a factor within the decision making process. I think how my decisions will impact them or make a difference in their lives. Perhaps I'm doing this because I simply do not wanr the guilt of screwing the lives of others if I had not done enough when a fool and idiocy of young I was.

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.... I'm just trying to atone for my past mistakes and sins. Hopefully through this, I will be able to gain some brownie points from the Master Karma and he will let me off lightly.

*cross fingers and pray...

The other day, I had this amazing self-actualisation about me being constantly mean to people around me even thou I do not mean it. I shared this with my friend and he was extremely amazed that I finally realised it after so many years. Thinking back, "extremely amazed" would be an understatement.

However, this topic of self-actualisation shall be for another day. This topic would bring about much points, views and arguements that makes it good enough for a P.H.D thesis.

Enough for now. Cheers!

Quote: "Being nice is an action taken by self, judged by others without any universal standards." ~ JasunZ

I'm JasunZ, Without Wax ~ Since 1982

Monday, March 01, 2010

Insanity

I think I'm going insane...

I think I'm one of the few that constantly reason and argue with myself. Constantly thinking about everything and anything.

Formula to insanity, there you go...

Every weekend that approaches is spare time for me to get in touch with the insane side of me; getting negative, emotional and moody.... for no rhyme or reason...

Excellent! That's a good start towards being truely insane.

I would like to think that I do not have split personality or wierd emotional mood swings. That's not true.

I had analysed and concluded that all these happen due to the fact that I think too much and too deeply into anything and everything and try to reason with myself to see different angles of looking at things.

Arggh! Can I stop thinking so much? I think its just me to do that...

Now on the way to work and having the kind of mixed feelings. Feeling glad that I have something to occupy my mind and sad coz I have less time to think and reason with myself...

See, thats insanity...

Cheers!

Quote: "Humans start becoming stupid the moment they stop thinking"

I'm JasunZ, Without Wax ~ Since 1982

Insanity

I think I'm going insane...

I think I'm one of the few that constantly reason and argue with myself. Constantly thinking about everything and anything.

Formula to insanity, there you go...

Every weekend that approaches is spare time for me to get in touch with the insane side of me; getting negative, emotional and moody.... for no rhyme or reason...

Excellent! That's a good start towards being truely insane.

I would like to think that I do not have split personality or wierd emotional mood swings. That's not true.

I had analysed and concluded that all these happen due to the fact that I think too much and too deeply into anything and everything and try to reason with myself to see different angles of looking at things.

Arggh! Can I stop thinking so much? I think its just me to do that...

Now on the way to work and having the kind of mixed feelings. Feeling glad that I have something to occupy my mind and sad coz I have less time to think and reason with myself...

See, thats insanity...

Cheers!

Quote: "Humans start becoming stupid the moment they stop thinking"

I'm JasunZ, Without Wax ~ Since 1982

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The Power Of Expression

Wow...

Ever since I blog my thoughts and what had been tormenting me, I feel much better. Perhaps this is the power of expressing oneself.

Bottling up your thoughts and feelings doesn't really help in the long run. Only when you let out and let go go of some, will you have the capacity to accept and experience more.

Its just like what they say. You cannot fill a cup that is already full.

Right now, I'm in the process of change. Redirecting my life, accepting new challenges and setting new destinations.

Was watching Life Transformers on Channel 8 last night.

An 80 yr old Granny toiling her whole life to raise and provide for her kids who are sickly and mentally unsound. Living monthly on just $400 for all 3 of them. She go to the extent of buying fresh food for her kids but she will eat stale rice mixed with salt and sauce.

The Love a parent has for her children, no matter what or who they are.

During the show, I kept tearing. Partly because I feel sorry for them. Another reason is that I feel so gulity.

Here I am living a Life that is far better than the 3 of them and I still have complains. I really wish to start enjoying the simple pleasures in Life. I believe that pleasures as such bring about real happiness that touch the innermost of your heart.

I feel mich better now, even thou some hurt is still there when I think of the unthinkable. But, I will keep thinking about it to let it constantly hurt me, cutting my soul. It will reaxh a point where there will longer be anymore hurt. Then, I will emerge better than before.

Another Life's lesson learnt... Through trials and tribulations....

That's about it for now. Cheers!

Quote: "Love does not make the world go round but it makes the ride worthwhile."

I'm JasunZ, Without Wax ~ Since 1982

Monday, February 22, 2010

My Heart Died The Instance You Said Yes

Lets blog.

On the train now, on my way to work. Over the weekend, I had never felt the stronger urge to go back work on Monday.

Not looking forward to work due to some new chick in office or whatsoever. More so, it keeps my mind off thinking, grinding and churning which leads to pain.

My heart really stopped the moment you said YES....

Perhaps it is a fullstop in one part of my life. A punctuation in my life that had been long awaiting, long coming. There were lots of commas, exclaimation marks and long pauses in the story between you and me. But now, the fullstop had arrived, marked down in thick black ink. The feeling is like a pen tips piercing a deep black hole through my heart, my life.

A black hole that will consume me? I hope not...

It was 4th July 1999, a Monday. More than 10 years had passed since that fateful day. The day on which you sway into class in that white dress with matching white shoes, Gucci shades and bag. Its the same day that our story began....

By a stroke of fate, our lives crossed and moments shared which now will forever etch in my memory and I hope yours as well.

Its also this same fate that took us apart and yet keep the lines of our lives running parallel to each other, allowing us to see each other but never to cross again.

Many times had I tried to steer my line towarss yours. It seems to go nearer everytime but never reaching.

Now my line will cease and yours will continue. My line will one day restart somewhere or perhaps it will not for a long time.

I do not regret anything. For you, its worth it. Our paths crossing had been the most wonderful thing that had ever happen to me. I would even say that it had been a fairytale less the ending....

Happiness is now yours to keep and for me a new journey of seeking begins...

You had been a pillar and direction of my growth over the years. An unknown surge of energu for me.

I love you, always had and always will....

Quote: "A broken heart is one that had felt Love."

I'm JasunZ, Without Wax ~ Since 1982