An Old Friend is Back!

Blogging from the past to the present. . . . . . .

The old friend is back. The friend that accompanied me nearly 10 years. From Secondary Sch till poly years. I chased that friend out of my Life and I never ever wanted to hear from the friend again. But the friend is back now and I'm hating it.

The friend is not a real person. The friend is a voice. A voice that speaks to me. A voice that rings in my head, tormenting me. This friend left me after poly days. I didn't hear from this friend for 4 years and now the friend is back.

This voice does not bring comfort. It brings confusion and depression to a person. This voice constantly rebukes you and bring you down. I had fought so many times with this voice and always emerged the winner.

I'm not too sure why this friend is back again. Perhaps, the re-emergence of the friend means something is not too right. Perhaps, I need to rest. Perhaps I need to make some changes to my life again like I did a few years back. Only changing my life can chase the friend out again. I can't rely on others.

Sometimes, when you are just so down and out that you really need someone just to speak to. You look through your entire phone list in your cell. You call a few numbers. Some of them get through and some of them do not.

For those that got through, they are usually busy with something or having that finger on the "Cancel Call" button, waiting to end the conversation. You then try messaging some others. Most of them do not reply fast enough. You go into dispair and finally conclude that perhaps you should just keep everything to yourself and not disturb others.

Suddenly, reality hit you in the face. WTH? You have so many contacts in the SIM Card and how many you actually could call and how many of those you called responded. You realise the truth and it hurts.

Next stage, is self-denial. You deny the truth. You refuse to accept that you are alone when you have problems. You just simply refuse to accept as you know acceptence only means defeat. After the stage of self-denial is realisation of truth.

You finally accept the truth and know that there is no way hiding it and that you are defeated. You are not the genius that you came yourself to be or as strong as you thought you were.

From acceptence, there can be 2 ways a person can go, self-despair or resurrection. For those that choose the first, it can only means more trouble and pain. So, do not ever go down that way.

I always choose the latter and so far, I'm always able to revive myself again and win the battle. Thank God for the beautiful mind I have. The mental strength of a person is in my personal opinion, the most important aspect of any individual.

The mental strength defines the mettle and worth of a person. How much a person is worth is how strong the person is mentally. Real wealth is measured using the mind of a person.

For me, I'm now feeling much better after an hour of fighting the battle with my own mind and I'm just "pening" down my thoughts in this little space so that it might act as an inspiration or perhaps a case study for those who suffer the same fate as me.

My old friend had fallen asleep. The voice had stopped but I think the voice will be back again until I totally chase it out again. It will not be easy, it will not me soon but it definately will be out someday and I'm sure of that beacuse I got a Beautiful Mind!

Cheers!

Quote: "The mental strength defines the mettle and worth of a person." ~Without Wax

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

ATTENTION!

Blog!

It's good that I'm studying. At least since I'm not working now, I still have stuff to occupy myself. Did not blog for the past 2 weeks. Actually I was working on a temp job helping my mum's friend.

I'm glad its over now. Staring at numbers all day. Phew!

I will be disappearing for another 2 weeks as I will be going back in camp reservist. Just finished packing my field pack and it's been 2 years. I'm going back! I'm actually looking forward to going back to the army as it will be a good change of environment and I had a very enjoyable 2 yrs in there.

So many incidents happened in the past week.

I done certain things which I wanted to do for a long time and had a nice chat.

Both my Strategic Marketing and Network Management presentations are over now and I can relax a bit. All that is left now is the final project which I have confidence of doing it.

I shall blog abit about feelings. I actually dunno what I feel nowadays. The only comfort I get is from my studies and when I do well or learn stuff which I'm ever so interested in. On days without lessons, I will be trying to set some programs for myself.

The other day, Mabel came down to meet me and we went Chong Pang for Nasi Lemak. Thanks little sis for coming down all the way. It was really nice chatting with you and indeed, you had grown much more sensible. Way to go!!!

Went MJ with Arthur, Eugene & his friend. It was a scary night. Luck was disgustingly good. Did 2 times "Flower Up Self Touch" & 1 time "Seabed Capture Moon". Wow. It's not the amount you win that matters. It's actually the way you win. Cooling~~ Oops... Using Cher phrase again...

Shall stop now coz I got to reach camp at 7.30am tomorrow. Kaoz. It's at Pasir Laba Camp. Got to wake up at 6am. Dododo...

Byez all.

Quote: "The person closest to your heart is the first person you want to share your happiness with when you experience it" ~Without Wax

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

Be a child sometimes

Blog it down!

I just came back from the cobbler. It was a great experience. I was sitting there like a little kid again.

It's been years since I went to a cobbler. I remember years ago when I was still a kid learning my ABCs and 123s, I used to accompany my parents to mend their shoesor later run errands for them to the cobbler.

What do people do with damaged shoes nowadays? They throw it away. I have feelings for my shoes. It's not easy to find a good pair of shoes that been through with you for quite a bit which makes me want to mend my shoes everytime. In fact, some of my shoes are mended till they can't be saved before being thrown away.

A trade like this is going to be missed by the next generation. They will no longer have the image of an kind old uncle sitting on his low stool, mending the shoes. So, I decided to snap a few pictures.

**What a scene...


**Just a little corner. Seems like nothing had changed since my childhood days.


**Forever messy working area yet they are still efficient.


**This is the classic one. Red chinese paint. Just shows the age of this sign.


**I just love seeing my shoes get mended. Call me old fashioned. ROAR!


After about 45mins, my shoes were done and thank the Uncle for it. It was pouring but I still decided to walk home in the rain. Been a long time. Took a slow walk and feeling the rythm of the rain drops hitting on your bare skin is such an enjoyment.

I went mad!

I started jumping of every puddle of water I could find. Wheee! Shiok is the only word to describe my feeling then. Sometimes, ain't it just so good to play in the rain and be a kid again. I think the kids who saw me were like. -_-"'

Haha. I don't care...

Okie. That's about the short post over here. Cheers!

Quote: "It's good to be kid again!" ~Without Wax

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

9th November 2006

Should just blog...

In less than 1 hours time 9 November 2006 is going to pass by and never to return again.

Guess what? It haven't been really a good day for me from the time it hit 12am till now. Lets recap the entire day.

12.00AM
Was at Party World Clementi with 02 X Kenneth + Fran and Catherine. It was nice of them to try surprise me with a cake but didn't really pull off as I kind of expected what they were going to do. So, perhaps need a bit more of acting classes. Haiz. Or perhaps my fault as I'm just simply too sensitive to the people and happenings around me and I will think alot about many minute details. I should be dumber and perhaps this will make me a happier person on the whole.

Got a few smses from Cherlyn & Alison. Anyway, thanks alot guys for celebrating my bdae and wishing me well.

Appreciated.

1.45AM
Reached home after sending Kenneth and Catherine home. Took a bath but couldn't sleep. Ended up chatting with Cath till 3am plus. Shoo her off and went to sleep.

7.00AM
Woke up to pee. Haha. Then after that waited till around 9am plus to call the company and told them I was not going for the interview. Went back to sleep again.

12.00PM
Woke up for branch and started studying for my mid-term exams.

Received a call from Clare. Thanks alot Bro. Wish you were in SG.
*Disclaimer: I'm not Gay!

Studied till around 2pm plus and decided that the bed was tempting me too much to lie on it. Hence left home for TPY early to study.

3.00pm - 7.00pm
Spent time studying and also relaxing at the study corner. Perhaps overstudied and decided just to sit there and listen to my music.

7.00pm - 7.15pm
It was a 1 hour paper but as usual, you don't really need 1 hour. So left in 15mins time.

7.15pm - 8.15pm
Went for dinner at kopitiam with Arthur. Ate "Chap Cai Peng" aka Mixed Vegetable Rice. Drank cold barley drink.

8.15pm - 9.30pm
Lectures ended early. Phew! During the lecture, the mic was faulty but the lecturer was still holding on to the mic as if it was working. WTH? But anyway, after like 30mins, she finally got the hint from us and put the mic down.

9.30pm - 10.15pm
Travelling back to Woodlands. Tried to buy something for myself at CWP but all the shops were closed by the time I reached back. Haiz. Too bad. The only shop that was still opened was 7-11 and BreakTalk. But too bad they didn't sell any nice gadgets or clothes.

10.30pm - 11.00pm
Chatted with Gi for a while and updated each other before Goodnighting....

11.00pm onwards
Blogging time! Decided to blog about today as once it's over, it will never return again. Loss time can NEVER be recovered and I guess a good way to remember is to pen down your thoughts.

Summary
Catherine asked me how I was enjoying being the bdae boy but I shared this with her. What's the big deal about bdae. In fact I value festive seasons like Christmas and New Year etc.

Example 1.1
Let's say I'm in Singapore without any access to any calendar or anything or devices that tells me the date. (Already say example right) On my bdae, I will not suddenly feel super good or as if I aged and extra day. However, if it's Christmas or New Year, I can feel it from the surroundings and people around me. Hence, that why bdae to me is.. just another day lah. Or perhaps I need that special someone to make me feel special and value this day more.

So to conclude, many thanks to those who remembered and to those who forgot, you know who you are. Don't come up to me a second after 11:59:59s and wish me belated bdae k. I don't accept. Just make sure you remember next year. Hahaha.

Prayer time
Thank you God for creating me without defects and making me by default a somewhat intelligent and special individual. Thank you for keep me free from major errors throughout the past 24 years of my life and should I be able to hit 25 years this time next year alive and breathing. I give it all to you.

Thank you God.

Amen.

Quote: "Loss time can NEVER be recovered!" ~Alot of people said this

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax

It's time to re-cap...

Long time no blog.

Ok. So it's been a really long time since I last blog. Somuch stuff to update. I shall begin this long post with lotsa pics and stories to share. What happen since I last posted on 20th October 2006...

Last Day
So, 26th October marked the last day of my close to 2 year slint at Parkway Promotions. We had celebrations and a nice time catching up together. During the last few days there, went for numerous lunches and dinner. So, would like to take this opportunity to say a big

THANK YOU!

to all of you guys out there for giving me

such a nice farewell....

**What an awfully designed cover.. haha.. juz joking...


**See.. they miss me...


**The inside of the card. Don't worry about the red patch. No animals were harmed!!!


**A cute little gift from Poh Liew... Seems suspicious.. should I call 999?


**A fluffy little bear which is now lying by my bed.


**Lastly, of all the stuffs I brought back from the office... my cushion...



Next up... KL Trip...

Went up to KL with Arthur, Stella and Eugene on the 27 Oct via Flight 1274 which is Arthur's car. Haha. Gi came to join us in the evening. It was an inter-resting trip.

After picking Stella from school at 1pm, we set off on the journey. All was well and highway was smooth. In fact, people could sleep in the car...

**Our dear "Koon Sin" aka Sleeping Diety... Mr Eugene Lee


Problems started when we reach KL Town. They had "wonderful" road signs which is just positioned like 1 metre before the turn and every mother, son road was like named...

Jalan Tun Perak or Jalan Tun Razak

What the Hell?

We actually reached KL at around 4pm but after numerous illegal U-Turns and threating moves that make it seems that we were heading to Ipoh, we finally checked in at the hotel at 6pm. Haha.

Of course, there was no time to be wasted. So headed off to....

**KLCC... Please put your GFs and Wife on Leash and muzzle them...


**So loving...


**And they lived happily ever after... haha..


So, spent quite some time at KLCC. Bought my favourite

DUNKIN DONUTS

Wooo. How I wish Singapore can bring in them again. Also, we had A&W for dinner...Cool...

I left them at KLCC while I went back to meet Gi. She brought me to Chinatown and it's actually shopping paradise there. It's a shame I didn't bought anything except for the Polo Tee which Gi bought for me. Hehe. Thanks anyway... MuAcKs!

After that, went back hotel lounge to have a drink and chill before hitting the sack. The next morning, went to another shopping centre ONE UTAMA. Nothing much there. Sent Gi off and I took a walk around KL to snap some pics.

**KL ZOUK


**Damm ugly... can't compare to the one in SG at all.


**Dunno what house it is but it sure is spooky at night...


**Of course you muz see the Petronas Tower... Is this where Sauron is staying?? LOTR


**Ooo.. The Twin Towers... Another scene from LOTR. Saruman is in there....


**Couldn't get enough of the towers.. so this is another view...


**And one more view...


On the next day, we had dinner at a nice restaurant but forgotten the name. The performers were good though.

**Nice guys...


**We even requested from a Spanish song which they performed


So, on the way back, we had dinner at JB and headed back home. Spent a nice 3 Days & 2 nights. Cooling...

Recently, had been going for lots of interview and other days are spent at home lazing around on my comfy bed or going out to do the stuffs I enjoy. Hehe. What a life...

**A Random pic taken the other day at Yishun Dam...


Recently, developed the habit of visiting the Yishun Dam just to enjoy the sea breeze there and the calmness of the night and spend time thinking... thinking and thinking... So the picture above was taken out of inspiration. With a view like that, a lone moon in the sky being reflected on the waters. It just reminds me of a song...

Are you lonesome tonight...... da da da da

Ok. That's about all for now and I'm damm glad I finally blogged. Hehe

Cheers!

Quote: "I think I shouldn't deny my feelings any longer. A man got to do what a man gotta do." --JasunZ, Without Wax

~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax