An Old Friend is Back!
Blogging from the past to the present. . . . . . .
The old friend is back. The friend that accompanied me nearly 10 years. From Secondary Sch till poly years. I chased that friend out of my Life and I never ever wanted to hear from the friend again. But the friend is back now and I'm hating it.
The friend is not a real person. The friend is a voice. A voice that speaks to me. A voice that rings in my head, tormenting me. This friend left me after poly days. I didn't hear from this friend for 4 years and now the friend is back.
This voice does not bring comfort. It brings confusion and depression to a person. This voice constantly rebukes you and bring you down. I had fought so many times with this voice and always emerged the winner.
I'm not too sure why this friend is back again. Perhaps, the re-emergence of the friend means something is not too right. Perhaps, I need to rest. Perhaps I need to make some changes to my life again like I did a few years back. Only changing my life can chase the friend out again. I can't rely on others.
Sometimes, when you are just so down and out that you really need someone just to speak to. You look through your entire phone list in your cell. You call a few numbers. Some of them get through and some of them do not.
For those that got through, they are usually busy with something or having that finger on the "Cancel Call" button, waiting to end the conversation. You then try messaging some others. Most of them do not reply fast enough. You go into dispair and finally conclude that perhaps you should just keep everything to yourself and not disturb others.
Suddenly, reality hit you in the face. WTH? You have so many contacts in the SIM Card and how many you actually could call and how many of those you called responded. You realise the truth and it hurts.
Next stage, is self-denial. You deny the truth. You refuse to accept that you are alone when you have problems. You just simply refuse to accept as you know acceptence only means defeat. After the stage of self-denial is realisation of truth.
You finally accept the truth and know that there is no way hiding it and that you are defeated. You are not the genius that you came yourself to be or as strong as you thought you were.
From acceptence, there can be 2 ways a person can go, self-despair or resurrection. For those that choose the first, it can only means more trouble and pain. So, do not ever go down that way.
I always choose the latter and so far, I'm always able to revive myself again and win the battle. Thank God for the beautiful mind I have. The mental strength of a person is in my personal opinion, the most important aspect of any individual.
The mental strength defines the mettle and worth of a person. How much a person is worth is how strong the person is mentally. Real wealth is measured using the mind of a person.
For me, I'm now feeling much better after an hour of fighting the battle with my own mind and I'm just "pening" down my thoughts in this little space so that it might act as an inspiration or perhaps a case study for those who suffer the same fate as me.
My old friend had fallen asleep. The voice had stopped but I think the voice will be back again until I totally chase it out again. It will not be easy, it will not me soon but it definately will be out someday and I'm sure of that beacuse I got a Beautiful Mind!
Cheers!
Quote: "The mental strength defines the mettle and worth of a person." ~Without Wax
~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax
The old friend is back. The friend that accompanied me nearly 10 years. From Secondary Sch till poly years. I chased that friend out of my Life and I never ever wanted to hear from the friend again. But the friend is back now and I'm hating it.
The friend is not a real person. The friend is a voice. A voice that speaks to me. A voice that rings in my head, tormenting me. This friend left me after poly days. I didn't hear from this friend for 4 years and now the friend is back.
This voice does not bring comfort. It brings confusion and depression to a person. This voice constantly rebukes you and bring you down. I had fought so many times with this voice and always emerged the winner.
I'm not too sure why this friend is back again. Perhaps, the re-emergence of the friend means something is not too right. Perhaps, I need to rest. Perhaps I need to make some changes to my life again like I did a few years back. Only changing my life can chase the friend out again. I can't rely on others.
Sometimes, when you are just so down and out that you really need someone just to speak to. You look through your entire phone list in your cell. You call a few numbers. Some of them get through and some of them do not.
For those that got through, they are usually busy with something or having that finger on the "Cancel Call" button, waiting to end the conversation. You then try messaging some others. Most of them do not reply fast enough. You go into dispair and finally conclude that perhaps you should just keep everything to yourself and not disturb others.
Suddenly, reality hit you in the face. WTH? You have so many contacts in the SIM Card and how many you actually could call and how many of those you called responded. You realise the truth and it hurts.
Next stage, is self-denial. You deny the truth. You refuse to accept that you are alone when you have problems. You just simply refuse to accept as you know acceptence only means defeat. After the stage of self-denial is realisation of truth.
You finally accept the truth and know that there is no way hiding it and that you are defeated. You are not the genius that you came yourself to be or as strong as you thought you were.
From acceptence, there can be 2 ways a person can go, self-despair or resurrection. For those that choose the first, it can only means more trouble and pain. So, do not ever go down that way.
I always choose the latter and so far, I'm always able to revive myself again and win the battle. Thank God for the beautiful mind I have. The mental strength of a person is in my personal opinion, the most important aspect of any individual.
The mental strength defines the mettle and worth of a person. How much a person is worth is how strong the person is mentally. Real wealth is measured using the mind of a person.
For me, I'm now feeling much better after an hour of fighting the battle with my own mind and I'm just "pening" down my thoughts in this little space so that it might act as an inspiration or perhaps a case study for those who suffer the same fate as me.
My old friend had fallen asleep. The voice had stopped but I think the voice will be back again until I totally chase it out again. It will not be easy, it will not me soon but it definately will be out someday and I'm sure of that beacuse I got a Beautiful Mind!
Cheers!
Quote: "The mental strength defines the mettle and worth of a person." ~Without Wax
~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax
posted by Without Wax at 10:33 PM
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