I'm moodless once again...
It's back again.......
My moodless self is back again. But it's worse than before. This time, the moodless comes together with the mood down and I'm feeling damm down. I'm alone. Seems like my friends are all busy and not free. I sometimes really find that I do not have someone that I can tok to when I'm troubled or feeling down.
Izzit coz I'm usually the one that listens to the problems of others and hence, I'm unable to find someone who I feel is able to offer me help. Perhaps this is my life. I can't find someone I can speak to. I'm able to help others with their problems and yet, I'm the one with problems that cannot be solved. Haiz. Is this the suffereing that I have to go through? Future is bleak as far as I can see.
I feel that I lost my drive. My drive to do anything. I'm in pain. I'm in deep pain. I feel like putting down everything and leave for sometime. Just stop whatever I'm doing and leave this place until I find myself again. I'm in internal pain and the usual person who can comfort me is perhaps the cause of it.
People do change. I had change pretty much but deep deep inside, I'm still the same sentimental person who is totally feeling. Haiz.
It's a Sunday and I'm at home since afternoon after church. I had been sleeping and trying to pin that feeling down. But alas, I still need to wake up and face the reality. Reality is painful and I can no longer take it. So the only place where I can release that little bit of fustration is in my blog. I'm doing whatever I can so that I will not breakdown like the Jack Johnson. Haiz.
Is my way of treating people around me wrong or is it me? Why do people around me have their own click of good friends who are always there for them. Perhaps I'm one of those who is always around for friends. Then what about me? Who are those that is always there for me? Is that anyone in fact.
Friends usually start to drift away from you due to other things they pioritize and value more. Perhaps this is perfectly normal. After all, as Giselia had said before, all human are selfish. Perhaps I should be one too. Friends co-exist for mutal benefits and coz they need each other. When some other factors enter their life and fufill that need in a greater way, then the former is no longer needed and hence will go down the rankings.
It's sad, but it's the truth and it's happening around us all the time. For those of you who are reading this. Go reflect and think what happen when one of your good friend whom you was very close to you drifted apart. What was the new factor or entity that came in. Think about it and you will know that whatever I said is true. Human are born evil and selfish. It's everybody for themselves. This is life.
Now, perhaps my only way out is to be selfish. A friend to all in times of need sounds noble. To hell with it. What's the f**king use of it when you suffer and no one is around for you. I must really re-think what I'm doing with my life and if I'm doing it right. Dr J?? To hell with this name.... It's me, myself, JasunZ. Nothing else is important.
I shall change.
Quote: "All mankind is born evil. It's how little evil inside them that determines how good they are" -- JasunZ
~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax
My moodless self is back again. But it's worse than before. This time, the moodless comes together with the mood down and I'm feeling damm down. I'm alone. Seems like my friends are all busy and not free. I sometimes really find that I do not have someone that I can tok to when I'm troubled or feeling down.
Izzit coz I'm usually the one that listens to the problems of others and hence, I'm unable to find someone who I feel is able to offer me help. Perhaps this is my life. I can't find someone I can speak to. I'm able to help others with their problems and yet, I'm the one with problems that cannot be solved. Haiz. Is this the suffereing that I have to go through? Future is bleak as far as I can see.
I feel that I lost my drive. My drive to do anything. I'm in pain. I'm in deep pain. I feel like putting down everything and leave for sometime. Just stop whatever I'm doing and leave this place until I find myself again. I'm in internal pain and the usual person who can comfort me is perhaps the cause of it.
People do change. I had change pretty much but deep deep inside, I'm still the same sentimental person who is totally feeling. Haiz.
It's a Sunday and I'm at home since afternoon after church. I had been sleeping and trying to pin that feeling down. But alas, I still need to wake up and face the reality. Reality is painful and I can no longer take it. So the only place where I can release that little bit of fustration is in my blog. I'm doing whatever I can so that I will not breakdown like the Jack Johnson. Haiz.
Is my way of treating people around me wrong or is it me? Why do people around me have their own click of good friends who are always there for them. Perhaps I'm one of those who is always around for friends. Then what about me? Who are those that is always there for me? Is that anyone in fact.
Friends usually start to drift away from you due to other things they pioritize and value more. Perhaps this is perfectly normal. After all, as Giselia had said before, all human are selfish. Perhaps I should be one too. Friends co-exist for mutal benefits and coz they need each other. When some other factors enter their life and fufill that need in a greater way, then the former is no longer needed and hence will go down the rankings.
It's sad, but it's the truth and it's happening around us all the time. For those of you who are reading this. Go reflect and think what happen when one of your good friend whom you was very close to you drifted apart. What was the new factor or entity that came in. Think about it and you will know that whatever I said is true. Human are born evil and selfish. It's everybody for themselves. This is life.
Now, perhaps my only way out is to be selfish. A friend to all in times of need sounds noble. To hell with it. What's the f**king use of it when you suffer and no one is around for you. I must really re-think what I'm doing with my life and if I'm doing it right. Dr J?? To hell with this name.... It's me, myself, JasunZ. Nothing else is important.
I shall change.
Quote: "All mankind is born evil. It's how little evil inside them that determines how good they are" -- JasunZ
~Nothing is impossible, the impossible just takes longer~
JasunZ, Without Wax
posted by Without Wax at 9:19 PM
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